Really Tall Tales

[Rodney Mills]

This is my entry to start this off, unless nothing much happened in your sea life, and you did your time with blinkers on and sailing in dry dock you should have enlisted in the Royal Navy:

After our shift was over on the Castle boats, we would sit around our cabin, nursing our solitary beer issue and swopping tall tales about things that had happened to us, or told to us by past cabin mates. One night the subject was embarrassing moments and how one got out of it. This was one submission by a a Third Assistant Cook by the name of Jeff.

He was home on leave and spending the evening with a lady friend while her eight-year-old daughter was spending the night at a sleep-over at her girlfriend's house near-by.

Jeffs lady friend and the girl's mother was sprawled back on the couch with her dress tucked above her waist, legs spread and Jeff was on his knees. (let your imagine the rest of what was going on). Suddenly the front door flew opened and the eight-year-old spoiler comes rushing in shouting "Mom, it's me have you seen my....Ooh!"....).

Jeff said, without missing a beat. "Ive found the splinter, had me the needle." Equally getting with the program, Mummy reaches to an end table, picks up an imaginary needle and places it in Jeff's waiting hand. Jeff not taking his eye of the imaginary splinter and still on his knees and in position. Jeff removes the imaginary offender. then makes sure to hold his hands up like some doctor waiting to wash his hands rushes to the bathroom to scrub-up. Meanwhile mommy is putting on her knickers and pulling her dress down. And telling her daughter how she got a splinter stuck in her groin and yelling to Jeff "Oh thank you very much Luv, that was killing me."

The kid bought it (probably until she was sixteen).

And Jeff was the one that won the prize that evening.... a six pack of beer.

See. Not everyone was gay on the Union-Castle Line.

Cheers, Rodney

[Des Taff Jenkins]

HI Rod
Great tale, the cabin was something like No four hatch.
Told a good one on here many years ago. New crew on this tanker in Swansea, having a yarn about the latest shore leave , when this bloke said, I met a smasher this time around and went on about what they got up to, then got a picture of this woman nearly out of his wallet, when the bloke across the table showed us a picture of his mother who run a pub outside Swansea, the bloke shoved his wallet back in his pocket, told me later it was a pic of the blokes mother.
Des

[j.sabourn]

Something similar Des don’t know if have remarked on before or not , as would still be inclined to think it was not for others ears. Goes back to July 6 1988 and the sad events of the next few days. I had to have 1 person transferred at sea and take another replacement off him for a reason which was put down as something to do with his local council and his domicile there. A half hour before the tragedy I found out the real reason was similar to what you have said, and is the real reason I let 4 men go in the FRC instead of 3. This was never disclosed to others outside those involved as consider it no one else’s business. I kept in touch with the injured party for a few years after the disaster , and then he suddenly stopped communicating , our late purveyor of family trees Marian was good enough to do some tracing for me and found he had died when he was Think it was 49 not too long after the disaster. His George Medal Still resides in Aberdeen Nautical Museum. Needless to say knowing the true reason for the crew change hours earlier just added to the worry of the welfare of the boats crew amongst all the other trauma unknown and hope it stays that way to the press and of
the expertise of our media moguls. One of the many stories kept out of their reach and also the Enquiry. JS. As yours but for mother replace with wife. And by word of mouth.JS
A good reminder of earlier years of “ what happens on a ship, stays on a ship “. I always like many others tried to live by that , a ship was a closed community mistakes and such like were borne by all crew members if at all possible. Violence on the other hand outside help had to be called in. JS

[happy daze john in oz]

She was hot and ready for it.
We had been on a number of occasions engaged in horizontal dancing.
But this night it was vertical dancing up against a fence.

At the crucial stage when I felt warm water on my leg.
A bloody dog had cocked his against me.

Fine but walking back to her place who should appear but her mother.

Who is this she asks, is he friend of your husband.
What husband I thought, time to go.

No I said just helping her home, she was feeling a bit off coming up the road.

Made sure i never saw here again.

[j.sabourn]

#3 Maybe error in his age would have to look up he was either 49 or 59 but far too early. JS.