Really Tall Tales
This is my entry to start this off, unless nothing much happened in your sea life, and you did your time with blinkers on and sailing in dry dock you should have enlisted in the Royal Navy:
After our shift was over on the Castle boats, we would sit around our cabin, nursing our solitary beer issue and swopping tall tales about things that had happened to us, or told to us by past cabin mates. One night the subject was embarrassing moments and how one got out of it. This was one submission by a a Third Assistant Cook by the name of Jeff.
He was home on leave and spending the evening with a lady friend while her eight-year-old daughter was spending the night at a sleep-over at her girlfriend's house near-by.
Jeffs lady friend and the girl's mother was sprawled back on the couch with her dress tucked above her waist, legs spread and Jeff was on his knees. (let your imagine the rest of what was going on). Suddenly the front door flew opened and the eight-year-old spoiler comes rushing in shouting "Mom, it's me have you seen my....Ooh!"....).
Jeff said, without missing a beat. "Ive found the splinter, had me the needle." Equally getting with the program, Mummy reaches to an end table, picks up an imaginary needle and places it in Jeff's waiting hand. Jeff not taking his eye of the imaginary splinter and still on his knees and in position. Jeff removes the imaginary offender. then makes sure to hold his hands up like some doctor waiting to wash his hands rushes to the bathroom to scrub-up. Meanwhile mommy is putting on her knickers and pulling her dress down. And telling her daughter how she got a splinter stuck in her groin and yelling to Jeff "Oh thank you very much Luv, that was killing me."
The kid bought it (probably until she was sixteen).
And Jeff was the one that won the prize that evening.... a six pack of beer.
See. Not everyone was gay on the Union-Castle Line.
Cheers, Rodney
Rodney David Richard Mills
R602188 Gravesend