I thought growing old would take longer than this


When I was a kid Iwanted to be older, this CRAP is not what I expected


Of course sizematter, no one wants a small glass of wine


To me drinkingresponsible means not spilling any


Pubs, the officialsunblock of Ireland


My wife says I onlyhave two faults, not listening and something else.


My body is a temple,now crumbling and most likely filled with demons


You are about toexceed the limitation of my medication


Scientists say thereare three types, Protons, Neutrons and Electrons, they fail tomention morons


I may be wrong butdoubt it


When I die at myfuneral take the flowers off and throw them at the crowd, see whocatches them.


Today I was a hero,I rescued some beer left in the bottom of a bottle.


I am who I am, yourapproval is not required


If you cannot laughat yourself let me do it for you


All this grey hairis a small price for all the wisdom


Don’t judge me bymy relatives


My husband thinks Iam crazy but I am not the one who married me


But the shoes, nogood being the richest in the grave yard