Bad Puns

[j.sabourn]

Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson
What do you call a pig with laryngitis ? Disgruntled
Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? swarm
If your bad at haggling , you’ll end up paying the price
Just so, everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on
A commander walks into a bar, and orders everyone around
I lost my job as a stage designer, I left without making a scene
Never buy flowers from a monk,Only you can prevent forest friars
How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced ? A buccaneer
I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by, I kneaded the dough
I lost my girlfriends audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it
Why is dark spelt with a k and not a c ? Because you can’t see in the dark
Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock ? Well, time will tell
When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps , they gave me a blank stare
Bono and Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the barman says oh no not U2 again
Prison is just one word to you, but for some people it’s a whole sentence,
Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a persons walk, and the results were staggering.
I’m trying to organise a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road
What do you say to a friend who is struggling with grammar ? There, their, they’re
I went into store and asked where the Schwarzenegger dolls were , he said Aisle B, back
I’ve started telling people the benefits of eating dried grapes . It’s all about raisin awareness.
JS