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Thread: French stuff

  1. #1
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    Default French stuff

    JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO.
    DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.
    Rusk responded "Does that include those who are buried here?"

    You could have heard a pin drop
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

    There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American.
    During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done?
    He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intend to do, bomb them?'

    A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly:

    'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply
    Emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day.
    They can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'

    You could have heard another pin drop.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~


    A Royal Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, the English learn only English. He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'

    Without hesitating, the British Admiral replied,

    'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's, Kiwis, South Africans, and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'

    You could have heard a third pin drop.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~


    AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...

    Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane.
    At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate
    his passport in his carry-all.

    "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

    Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

    "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

    The Englishman said,"The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

    "Impossible. You English always have to show passports on arrival in France!"

    The English senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained:

    ''Well, when I came ashore at Gold Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to."

    You could have heard two pins drop.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~



    If you are proud to be British, American, Canadian, Australian or New Zealander,
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

  2. #2
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    Default Re: French stuff

    Re#1 above,
    In 1961 a friend, now deceased, during his summer recess from University spent the summer in france digging up American graves so the bodies could be shipped to the US.

    Brian
    Last edited by Captain Kong; 5th October 2020 at 09:40 AM.

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    Default Re: French stuff

    Re:#5 ABOVE,
    I was on an Esso tanker bound for Cherbourg france.
    I called up Port Control and told them our eta at the sea buoy,
    They said, OK the Pilot will be waiting at the Buoy,
    I told the Captain, Stan ....., now deceased, I don't need a pilot, we go strait in.
    We got to the buoy, sailed right past the Pilot boat who was shouting on VHF, He followed us in shouting we needed a Pilot.

    Capt. Stan shouted back, "I didn't need a Pilot in 1944 and I don't need one now."
    When we got to the berth, a large Committee was waiting to board us.
    They went into his cabin , all shouting in loud voices. then I heard the chink of a bottle against glasses, the shouting died down, more chinking of glasses and then singing. They all had a good party.

    That's the way to do it .
    Brian
    Last edited by Captain Kong; 5th October 2020 at 09:41 AM.

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    Default Re: French stuff

    Nice ones John.
    Graham R774640

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    Default Re: French stuff

    Quote Originally Posted by Graham Payne View Post
    Nice ones John.
    Hi Graham, Told you before mate you gotta watch out for them froggs there on the search for anyone especially brits who have skinned out owing them money, This guy is using the name Shammmmyyyy Leathuuuuuurrr
    {terry scouse}

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    Default Re: French stuff

    Seems he's looking for a lost letter from France

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    Default Re: French stuff

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Lead Ted View Post
    Hi Graham, Told you before mate you gotta watch out for them froggs there on the search for anyone especially brits who have skinned out owing them money, This guy is using the name Shammmmyyyy Leathuuuuuurrr
    Blimey, that was a blast from the past Terry, I remember seeing a bloke wearing a beret and riding a bike loaded with onions just like that in 1960,
    he was riding down Tottenham High road early one morning when I was on my way to work, there's a memory lurking around every corner , cheers

  8. #8
    Keith at Tregenna's Avatar
    Keith at Tregenna Guest

    Default Re: French stuff

    Jokes in most countries are almost the same, all just alter the name and place etc.

    The French usually aim the punch line towards the Belgian and so on.

    Traditional French joke:

    “A plane crashes on a desert island. There are only a few survivors: three Spanish people, three French people and an Englishman. Six months later: one of the Spanish men has killed the other and is now living with the Spanish woman, the three French people have decided to become a threesome and the Englishman is still waiting to be introduced to the others.”

    K.

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    Default Re: French stuff

    Hi Terry.
    I remember before the war we used to get the same bloke bringing onions to our village,year in year out, he was a Breton, My Mum used to make him a cup of tea. I have often wondered what happened to him during the war.
    Des
    R510868
    Lest We Forget

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    Default Re: French stuff

    Des, he most likely gave them to the Germans.

    A lady from here in Melbourne, good friend, was in Paris a couple of years ago.
    Went into the local bakery to buy bread and when she asked for some was ignored by the shop keeper.

    She waited a while and watched what was going on and a guy obviously English was also ignored when he asked for bread.
    So my friend went to the counter and said,
    'I am an Australian not English can I have some bread please'?

    The shopkeeper apologized and said he thought she was English saying we do not like them around here.

    Pity really because had it not been for the Brits who knows where they may have ended up.
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

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