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5th October 2020, 05:45 AM
#1
French stuff
JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO.
DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.
Rusk responded "Does that include those who are buried here?"
You could have heard a pin drop
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American.
During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done?
He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intend to do, bomb them?'
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly:
'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply
Emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day.
They can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'
You could have heard another pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
A Royal Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, the English learn only English. He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the British Admiral replied,
'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's, Kiwis, South Africans, and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard a third pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...
Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane.
At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate
his passport in his carry-all.
"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."
The Englishman said,"The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. You English always have to show passports on arrival in France!"
The English senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained:
''Well, when I came ashore at Gold Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to."
You could have heard two pins drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
If you are proud to be British, American, Canadian, Australian or New Zealander,
Happy daze John in Oz.
Life is too short to blend in.
John Strange R737787
World Traveller
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5th October 2020, 08:06 AM
#2
Re: French stuff
Re#1 above,
In 1961 a friend, now deceased, during his summer recess from University spent the summer in france digging up American graves so the bodies could be shipped to the US.
Brian
Last edited by Captain Kong; 5th October 2020 at 09:40 AM.
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5th October 2020, 09:39 AM
#3
Re: French stuff
Re:#5 ABOVE,
I was on an Esso tanker bound for Cherbourg france.
I called up Port Control and told them our eta at the sea buoy,
They said, OK the Pilot will be waiting at the Buoy,
I told the Captain, Stan ....., now deceased, I don't need a pilot, we go strait in.
We got to the buoy, sailed right past the Pilot boat who was shouting on VHF, He followed us in shouting we needed a Pilot.
Capt. Stan shouted back, "I didn't need a Pilot in 1944 and I don't need one now."
When we got to the berth, a large Committee was waiting to board us.
They went into his cabin , all shouting in loud voices. then I heard the chink of a bottle against glasses, the shouting died down, more chinking of glasses and then singing. They all had a good party.
That's the way to do it .
Brian
Last edited by Captain Kong; 5th October 2020 at 09:41 AM.
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5th October 2020, 09:50 AM
#4
Re: French stuff
Graham R774640
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5th October 2020, 02:20 PM
#5
Re: French stuff
Originally Posted by
Graham Payne
Nice ones John.
Hi Graham, Told you before mate you gotta watch out for them froggs there on the search for anyone especially brits who have skinned out owing them money, This guy is using the name Shammmmyyyy Leathuuuuuurrr
{terry scouse}
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5th October 2020, 02:25 PM
#6
Re: French stuff
Seems he's looking for a lost letter from France
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5th October 2020, 04:40 PM
#7
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5th October 2020, 07:15 PM
#8
Re: French stuff
Jokes in most countries are almost the same, all just alter the name and place etc.
The French usually aim the punch line towards the Belgian and so on.
Traditional French joke:
“A plane crashes on a desert island. There are only a few survivors: three Spanish people, three French people and an Englishman. Six months later: one of the Spanish men has killed the other and is now living with the Spanish woman, the three French people have decided to become a threesome and the Englishman is still waiting to be introduced to the others.”
K.
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6th October 2020, 03:28 AM
#9
Re: French stuff
Hi Terry.
I remember before the war we used to get the same bloke bringing onions to our village,year in year out, he was a Breton, My Mum used to make him a cup of tea. I have often wondered what happened to him during the war.
Des
R510868
Lest We Forget
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6th October 2020, 05:33 AM
#10
Re: French stuff
Des, he most likely gave them to the Germans.
A lady from here in Melbourne, good friend, was in Paris a couple of years ago.
Went into the local bakery to buy bread and when she asked for some was ignored by the shop keeper.
She waited a while and watched what was going on and a guy obviously English was also ignored when he asked for bread.
So my friend went to the counter and said,
'I am an Australian not English can I have some bread please'?
The shopkeeper apologized and said he thought she was English saying we do not like them around here.
Pity really because had it not been for the Brits who knows where they may have ended up.
Happy daze John in Oz.
Life is too short to blend in.
John Strange R737787
World Traveller
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