The feminisation of men

[John Arton]

Now bear with me as this could take a while.
Do you think that modern man is showing more of his feminine side or are they just plain nancy's?
I started having to shave regularly when about 15/16 years old. According to my memory and photos I have my father always had a full beard.
So when I first went away to sea my toilet bag contained a flannel, a Gillette razor plus a pack of spare blades and a bottle of Old Spice aftershave. Despite a luxurious head of hair (now long gone after 37 yrs of marriage and two daughters) there was no shampoo or conditioner in that toilet bag.
Over the next years I gradually went up market, investing in an electric razor (now condemned to the bin and back on wet shaving). a more up market aftershave ( Kouros, Eau Sauvage or what ever the daughters brought me at Christmas/birthday's), the odd bottle of cheap hair shampoo and occasionally shower gel. Usually when away soap and water was sufficient for my bathing needs and that still applies mainly today.
Now going back to my dim and distant memories of my father, when ever he was home on leave I cannot recall the bathroom being filled with various lotions and potions beyond his razor and scissors for trimming his beard.
Nowadays watching t.v. ads it seems men have to have as many different lotions and potions to keep the hair on their head looking good, 3 products to keep their beards in a decent state, innumerable different after shave lotions to make them smell attractive to the opposite sex, any number of lotions to keep their skin hydrated (what ever happened to water, that's hydration is it not?), any number of deodorants that again make you irresistible to the opposite sex etc. etc. There are even men having cosmetic surgery to improve their appearance.
The cost of all this must surely be making a huge dent in your alcohol/golf/football attendance/disco dancing etc. budget.
So I say enough is enough.
Throw out all those lotions and potions, dig out that old bottle of Old Spice or Brut, if you are bearded let it grow (it is always a good repository for that tasty morsel that escaped during your last meal and ban S.W.M.B.O. from singing/owning Carly Simons "Your so vain"
It used to be "real men don't eat quiche", well I say real men don't but L'Oréal because we are worth it without spending fortunes on skin/hair products.
Now some may think this post should be in the jokes section, but no, trivia it may be but i'm deadly serious, you try getting into your morning shower without tripping over not all those lotions and potions bottles of not only the members of the opposite sex seem to demand necessary but also those that they and those clever marketing people have made you believe you need!!!!!!
rgds
JA

[Captain Kong]

I didn't need all that rubbish, perfumes , after shaves, shampoos etc,. when I was a young man to attract the ladies.
I found that a big sub or a big wad of white fivers on Pay off day did the trick. Also being lean, mean, and bronzed with sun bleached wavy hair, a mid Atlantic accent, a genuine fake Rolex on the wrist, a Midnight blue drape suit from the Sally Army in New York, a packet of Luckies in the top pocket was all I needed.,
I had the girls screaming after me.
Never short of young lady admirers, for two weeks leave, then back to sea and await the first `Dear John` at the first port. Then start again with a big sub in B.A. or somewhere.

Today I have a yellow plastic Bic razor that lasts for about six months, a pack of ten for a couple of bob, in ASDA.
and I use the wife`s moisturizer for my face , but only to keep the wrinkles away.
Young ladies, sad to say, do not scream after me anymore, and I don't know why. Maybe it is because I don't have a pocket full of white fivers anymore.
Happy Days.
Cheers
Brian

[Graham Payne]

It seems I have got a problem, I took the test published in the Daily Mail this week to find out if you have a Male or Female brain. 6 questions, I got all 3 of the Female questions correct and none of the Male questions correct.
Bloody worried now.
I have not told the female management indoors of the result, she might think I'm trying to take over.
Happy Days
Merry Christmas to you all.

[Chris Allman]

I was lucky enough to be part of the officer crew on the brig Prince William (STA) in 2001. We had a mixed youth crew and whilst on an inspection of the crews quarters, I found that not only did the girls have hair dryers but so did some of the lads. I could not believe it but on mentioning it to one of the STA permanent officers, I was assured it was a regular thing the lads bringing hair dryers and in some cases curling tongs. I was lost for words and that was in 2001, so things have bound to have ballooned since then among our pretty boys.

[Captain Kong]

What ever happened to Roughy Toughy Sailors.?
Brian

[Jim Brady]

We used to go ashore stinking of the red Lifebouy soap.
Regards.
Jim.B.

[Frederick Lacey]

Hi Graham, the answer to your problem is stop drinking water, it all started when the pill was invented, millions of women on the pill
are peeing female hormones down the toilet which is going into streams, rivers and seas, even the fish are turning into homophrodites,
this then is extracted and pumped to water treatment works then comes once again out of our taps. Beware otherwise you'll end up like
the so called blokes on telly these days who spend most of their time snogging each other.!!!!!!!!!!!F

[Captain Kong]

In B.A. many years ago when we were on the BIG Steaks, it was reported that the Beef there is injected with Female Hormones to make them grow bigger
Then the Argies started to grow big Breasts. and that was only the Dockers.
I stopped eating steaks.
You could end up feeling yourself again.
Brian

[Jim Brady]

When men smelt like men.
Ken Dodd.
Little Tommy got sent home with a note from his teacher saying that he smelt a bit,the teacher was an old spinster.
His mother wrote back.Listen you my Tommy doesn't smell,he smells like his dad,a man,but you wouldn't know what a man smells like.
Regards.
Jim.B.

[Ivan Cloherty]

Now come on lads, most of us deckies used moisturiser at sea in the 40's to 70's, it came in 5 gallon drums and it all had the same brand name 'boiled linseed oil' which after fitting ourselves out with the latest bespoke gunny sack tailored to our own dimensions with a head hole and two arm holes we smothered our face and exposed skin with said moisturiser and were then hoisted up the stays with a bucket of white lead and tallow and told not to spill any on the pristine machinery below whilst steaming at 15 knots into a head wind!!! without such moisturiser you could spend hours getting that white lead out of your pores. Also used it when painting the rusting decks with used heavy engine oil, and again when painting the decks with that black bitumastic paint, oh! the joys of black bitumastic paint if painting on a cold day in a head wind and the wind blowing it off the turks head on to the newly painted green winches and trying to remove it with cotton waste with turps substitute, no pvc gloves in those days, we were a dermotologists worst nightmare, but we survived and that boiled linseed oil certainly helped with the tanning process. Like Brian I was a tanned blond adonis, but a minituare version!