Do You Know

[Ivan Cloherty]

no rob women call it multi tasking??jp

John, they may be good at multi tasking (so THEY say) but they cannot walk and talk at the same time, when our friends and ourselves go out as a foursome the women are always hundreds of yards behind, even when we all started together, We wait for them to catch up, minutes later they are hundreds of yards behind again.................reason, because when they talk, they must stop and look at each other in amazement when facts about the woman they are talking about are revealed,,,,A says to B 'she didn't did she' B then stops looks at A and says 'well that's what I've heard' then they walk on a few yards and B grabs A's arm and says 'I remember C saying something about that' and A stops and says ' I wonder who told C, it must have been D and to think I told her in confidence' they walk on a few yards and B says 'no actually I remember now it was D who told me'......................................I'd better stop now because I'm getting confused, women 'Think' they can multi task but they cannot really, take them for a walk in a brace of couples and you'll see I'm right. I'll stop now as she's having trouble bringing my cup of tea upstairs whilst she's hoovering, bless!!!

[gray_marian]

#3 'Hi hen, don't you ever do any housework?'

Louis, I must say tis a brave man indeed who would question my household proficiency! My husband is quaking in his boot's on
your behalf.......and he's in Hong Kong!......You Mr Fly shall find yourself in reciept of a "Glasgow Kiss" just shortly.:

[Keith at Tregenna]

A rather old minesweeper was cruising a lonely stretch of the South Pacific and was overtaken by a new Australian cruiser. All the US sailors admired the new ship and the Captain sent a blinker-light message to the Aussies: "You are beautiful."

Less than 10 seconds later, the Aussie ship blinkered back: "I'll bet you say that to all the ships."

[Louis the fly]

#3 'Hi hen, don't you ever do any housework?'

Louis, I must say tis a brave man indeed who would question my household proficiency! My husband is quaking in his boot's on
your behalf.......and he's in Hong Kong!......You Mr Fly shall find yourself in reciept of a "Glasgow Kiss" just shortly.:

Now that Jamesy knows your husband is away he is coming around later for a full inspection.

[gray_marian]

#14, In his dreams! I'll be locking the gates

[cappy]

gird your loins marion gird your loins

[John Arton]

Regarding item #1 Toyota cars.
Nissan Sunderland can build you one in far less time than that.
I knew a guy who osle job was to take the car off the line and drive it for Ikm around a special track to test its brakes and steering etc. (apparently every car made anywhere has to go through this routine hence you can never buy a new car with zero km on the speedo). He reckoned that if there was anything wrong with a car during this test they would just take it around the back and crush it as it cost too much to investigate and fix any faults plus by the time they had found the fault another two or three cras would already have rolled off the line.
rgds
JA

[gray_marian]

#16 Why are you coming too?

[cappy]

#18 just might pop ....in

[Keith at Tregenna]

#16 Why are you coming too?

I SHALL SEEK AND FIND YOU...
I SHALL TAKE YOU TO BED AND CONTROL YOU...
I WILL MAKE YOU ACHE, SHAKE AND SWEAT UNTIL YOU
GRUNT AND GROAN...
I WILL MAKE YOU BEG FOR MERCY...
I WILL EXHAUST YOU TO THE POINT THAT YOU WILL BE
RELIEVED WHEN I LEAVE YOU....AND YOU WILL BE WEAK
FOR DAYS.

ALL MY LOVE,

THE FLU

Anyone else reading get your mind out of the gutter.

Ha Ha K.