What was it you didn't want to see come out of your cabin mates kitbag !!!

[Red Lead Ted]

That did get up my nose was your cabin mate unpacking a pair of slippers, Another one {PINK SEABOOTS} Terry.

[Gulliver]

That did get up my nose was your cabin mate unpacking a pair of slippers, Another one {PINK SEABOOTS} Terry.

I would only start to (vaguely) worry if the slippers had pom-poms on,Terry.


Other things to worry about if produced from your cabin mate's kitbag; the portable sewing machine,the giant Twinkie vibrator-the best (allegedly !), the chintz curtain material,and the 6 month giant economy tube of K-Y (other lubes are available- Shell Mex,axle grease etc.)



Just found some pink sea boots to die for.They have your size too,mate.
Pink Sea Boots.jpg
♫ Oh ! A Life on the Ocean Wave ♫....

[leratty]

Oh Capt. Kong you have done it again, post 6. JC was it for real or just a tosser boasting I muse? Richard

[john sutton]

Drafting Guys Over 60





This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier... New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!



I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with badattitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.


john sutton

[john sutton]

Last week, Ethel checked into a motel on her 60th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."




She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo.




He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a sixpence off his well oiled bum.... She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know.




I'll give him a call.




"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?




Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy! Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in,




"Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready!! Now how does that sound?"




He said,




"That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

john sutton

[Captain Kong]

Oh Capt. Kong you have done it again, post 6. JC was it for real or just a tosser boasting I muse? Richard
.
. Hi Richard I doubt he was boasting, no one would say things like that about his Mother if it wasnt real. He was a way out sort of fellow and from his various conversations it seemed to be Kosher.
She was very attractive and young. Lived in the London area. This fellow had various sexual tricks cant repeat on here.
Brian,.