Depressing outlook?

[Red Lead Ted]

:

12 Its been weeks since I had an erection
john sutton

You can alway,s try them viagra m8 the problem i had was they kept falling off you cant balance the bloody things,

[Tony Morcom]

Terry, it may be a depressing outlook but at least we can always rely on you to make us chuckle.
Cheers mate

[john sutton]

What Pension Worries?




Worried your pension will run short?











So you're a sick senior citizen and the government says

there is no nursing home available for you -

what do you do?


Senior Health Care Solution



Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets.


You are allowed to shoot 2 MPs and 2 illegal immigrants!


Of course,

this means you will be sent to prison

where you will get 3 meals a day,

a roof over your head, central heating,

air conditioning and all the health care you need!

New teeth? - No problem.

Need glasses? - Great.

New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart?

All covered.


(And your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now).



And who will be paying for all of this?

The same government that just told you

that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home.



Plus, because you are a prisoner,

you don't have to pay income tax any more.




IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?

No wonder the rest of the world’s population can’t get here fast enough!


john sutton

---------- Post added at 11:50 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:45 AM ----------

oooO
( ) Oooo
\ ( ( )
\__) ) /
(__/



Many people will walk in and out of your life but only a true friend will leave footprints on your computer!
Forward this message to 3 other people...... and you will get.......



Bugger all!

That's right bugger all..

You won't get good luck or a nice surprise, 5 grand or a bloody holiday in Jamaica , just bugger all..... it's true...... it works.....!





I sent it and I got........






Bugger all. Yes that's right. Absolutely BUGGER all.


Don't break the chain! It's the only one of these things that actually does what it says!

john sutton

---------- Post added at 11:52 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:50 AM ----------

From my Indian buddy in Canada .............. and you think I need
diversity training...........?




Sensitivity Training?

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by
turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole
thing. I converted to *****, and we're stoning her in the morning!

The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I
did. She's 21, and her name's Kathy.

Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting
"pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24
and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class
give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd
better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."

The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex
with me because she can't afford batteries.

A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says,
"How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the
ironing is piling up!"

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she
would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been
listening."

My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for
the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes
back.

The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute
towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we'd love to, but our garden
hose only reaches the driveway.

john sutton

[Phil Crawley]

To John Sutton great post, just made me burst out laughing.

[Lou Barron]

Just as well Liverpool beat Everton otherwise it would have been a bad day for you Terry i love to see Liverpool win all the time i always say there were three good thing came out of Liverpool The Beatles the Soccer team and the MERCHANT NAVY????

[Red Lead Ted]

Came home the other night after a night at the movies with my misses, We had no idea our 12yr old grandson had come to stay the night and my eldest son had let him in. Off i go to the bathroom shower shave foo foo the works thought i will show her there is life in the old dog???????? Goes up to bed no headache have you dear no she said so lets say i was putting the sock over the jumbo, In walks my 12yr old grandson What you doing grandad ? OHHHHHHHHHHHH I am just looking for a little mouse why he said are you going to hump it,,,,,,,, Regards lads Terry.

[Colin Pook]

Hello Mr. Sutton, o.k. whats your secret, is it the water in your area or what, as I haven't had an erics-son in the last six fortnights!!!
Reply soonest
in despair,
Colin.

[Captain Kong]

When I was at the Vindicatrix Sea School, 60 years ago, they put Bromide into our Cocoa,
It is just starting to work.

[Tony Wilding]

now cameron wants access to all the emails we send.

[Red Lead Ted]

This is a very serious mistake by this crowed of idiots that govern us. Big brother at work snooping into ordinary peoples personal lives. It will not go down well with joe public including Tory @ Lib Dem voters. They are making the excuse it is to seek out terrorists useing the net to communicate with each other. I for one would rather see them put more money and effort into them tightening our border control which is a joke at the moment. What on earth are they going to gain from finding out which will cost a fortune which web sites i visit. And i think New Labour had this on there agenda. I think there is a case for the court of human rights here. Cival Liberty Groups wont let this drop. And i dont think Certain search engines will be happy because if they have to back door you by law a lot of them will go out of buisness not only because of lack of popularity but also the cost that obviously will be handed onto the user us .Another form of taxation. When you read this one MR Bloody Cameron this is BRITAIN not China. Get out of my box. Regards all Terry.