Virtual Ship

[Michael Lawrence]

Hay lads whats happening with this here ship I been stuck on gangway duty so long i've taken root and not even a sarny have I had with you lot lording it ashore and me Brandy botles empty George

Listen young George you did say you liked looking at the birds going pass. Just because they're not all wearing bell bottoms and some are of the feathered variety, You Did Make The Request. So please keep a weather eye out for a smart young piece walking pass and make sure your telescope doesn't connect with her bell bottoms. Mike

[Michael Lawrence]

Listen you lot. Just had a thought, which in its self is quite remarkable.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Doesn't this ship have to be certified by the BOT?
Also before they do that, and give permission to sail. I believe we have to have three POs signed on.
Bosun, Chief cook, and a Donkeyman.
I haven't seen any of the above on the crew list.
Therefore, if this be the case, we have sailed illegally! As one who has never done anything remotely illegal[cough, cough] I find this most distressing, and suggest we tie up someplace, preferably BA, to seek legal advice before this voyage continues.
Den.

Don't Worry Den. We've all been certified B.O.T. (bloody old and TancKerous) and if you read your articles when you signed on you'll realise you signed as Bosun, C/cook, and Donkeyman along with the 2nd cook/bakers job. After all Gulliver is 1st mate, 2nd mate and 3rd mate along with being farmer as well. The witches do all sorts of jobs not always the right ones. Vernon is supposed to be Chief Stwd but is also a winger what ever that is coz we don't have 'em on real boats only on 'blood packets'. Alf is everything but not what your desire and Dazy John, well even I'm at lost there, but no doubt he will tell us. sO BACK IN THE GALLEY HAVE A GULP OF 'eIGHT bELLS' AND GET TO WORK. mIKE

p.S. dRINkING tO mUSH WeLsH bEEr aGaIN

[happy daze john in oz]

Mike, this is Dazy John calling, you dont know where i ma, how do you think I feel???? Must have been all that cava in Vanatu that stuffed me up. But at last I found out why we is still going round in circles. Poor Alf has wax in his ears and it is affecting his balance, permanantly leaning to the Port, and drinking the bloody stuff. We might have to throwe a line over him and pull him up.

[Michael Lawrence]

Mike, this is Dazy John calling, you dont know where i ma, how do you think I feel???? Must have been all that cava in Vanatu that stuffed me up. But at last I found out why we is still going round in circles. Poor Alf has wax in his ears and it is affecting his balance, permanantly leaning to the Port, and drinking the bloody stuff. We might have to throwe a line over him and pull him up.

John. Remember drinking that stuff in Figi in 59 it tasted like whitewash or what I think whitewash would taste like. Remember playing cricket after midnight with some Kiwi airman on the main street and then on the dock. Came to in the morning with a khaki RNZAF uniform with badges on stating I was a telegraphist. Presume some Kiwi airman woke up wearing my civvy kit which must of buried him as
the uniform I had on I couldn't do up it was that small. We sailed before I could find the joker and swap back. Oh Happy Happy days. Mike

[Dennis McGuckin]

Listen here Mike. That's too much work even for me. Wouldn't mind if I was getting all their tots.
I'm happy just making the odd [they don't come any odder] Tab-Nab.
Have found a new hand that wants to sign on. I noticed there is an opening for a Bhaaa Steward.
Only thing is, she may distract our friends from the southern hemisphere, not to mention our Welsh members.
What do you think?
Den.

[Doc Vernon]

Hello Mike H,
I see you are now on a Tug mate! So where exactly did you get the cash from! Mmm! haha!
Now as much as i would love to help out ,i am afraid i will have to decline,as you know that i am Chief Steward,Winger and a few other run around jobs here!
Its been a bit quiet lately though (gave me a break haha!) but i am sure that soon the S--- will hit the Fan ,and i will be as busy as a bee!
So i have to now go and get a lot more Stocks for the Ship,then its a full days work ahead!
Will also have to try and see where all the Crew have gone to,as it is a bit deserted here at the moment!
Ahoy! there maties where in blazes are you all!
Better get down to the Fog Locker,there may be a few there,and i will check the bilges too just in case they have a lovely Witch there with them haha!
See you later and happy tugging! Hope you get your Crew soon Mike!
PS Like your new Bus too! You must have come into some cash! hah!
I used to work on the Busses in Leicester a long time ago,also on the JMT (Johannesburg Municipal Tramways) they had the old Trolly Busses and Trams then,remember having to pull the long Pole out now and then to get the Runners back on the Line haha!
Good old days too!
Cheers

[happy daze john in oz]

So it was you Vernon. we have many pairs of runners strung over the power lines around here, now I know who put them there. Obvious we cannot trust you with a Pole, or a Scotsman, or any of the poor Welsh whitches. What next, poles and broomsticks at ten paces??????

[Michael Lawrence]

Listen here Mike. That's too much work even for me. Wouldn't mind if I was getting all their tots.
I'm happy just making the odd [they don't come any odder] Tab-Nab.
Have found a new hand that wants to sign on. I noticed there is an opening for a Bhaaa Steward.
Only thing is, she may distract our friends from the southern hemisphere, not to mention our Welsh members.
What do you think?
Den.

Den. For Pete's sake hide that bloody animal or we'll have all those Taff's from Kiwi plus one or two Kiwis and Ozzies looking to use it as a sports and leisure centre. Mike

[Michael Lawrence]

Have heard from Geoff and Trish is awaiting the results of a angiogram. I know that we all wish them well and will excuse Geoff duties on here until he feels his loved one is up and running, which I'm sure she will be soon. Take care Geoff and look after Trish. Mike

[Frank Ferri]

I WANT TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE RUM RATION AND THE CROWN & ANCHOR GAME
FRANK....