Virtual Ship

[Graham Shaw]

If you need a radio officer look no further fully GMDSS Qualified but a bit rusty !!! will join by pilot boat.
Do we have a Ossifers Mess on board or that a polite name for the crew accommodation?!!!!.

(2nd R/O retired)


I ALWAYS THOUGHT A NAVAL CUTTER WAS TIGHT KNICKER ELASTIC AND THE BOARD OF TRADE WAS A BENCH IN HYDE PARK.

...and I always thought the Admiral's gig was a concert by a naval boy band at the O2 Arena...


Well,Roger Haddock-something very fishy about your name( bet you've never heard that before!)-I second you for the position of Sparky aboard this virtual ship.
To have a qualification like your GMDSS (Greater Manchester Dept. of Sewage and Sanitation) certificate may well be considered to be over-qualified on here,but if P &O are taking all sorts of new 'tickets' with weird and wonderful acronyms under their new ownership say no more.
I only sailed with Sparkies with SSB experience,which I believe stood for Sad Single Bloke,or Single Sideboard or sumfink like that,but it might in my poor full- to- capacity brain have been SSC,which either stood for Supersonic car-as in the Thrust SSC of two decades ago,or- Single Sidecar-as in the George & Mildred TV shows.HERE-but where would be without acronyms-probably a damned sight better off !

[j.sabourn]

I only want to be a Supernumary and will sign the disclaimer form that will not claim any insurance claims Instead of a shilling a month though the cost of living has gone up and will expect 3/9d, to stop certain characters putting the hard word on me. JS
PS Just a reminder this cuts me adrift from any work and that includes feeding the ships cat called Thomas JS

[j.sabourn]

#1571.. I always thought a sub went under water , and was that successful they named a fast food takeaway after it and called it subway . That is apart from it giving you money later to take off your wages, they won’t get much back from me on 3/9 a month, especially after Cappy has had what he calls his cut out of it.JS

[happy daze john in oz]

The local supermarket has a system of feeding those in want from out of date food.
We could get some and maybe Cappy, when he is not sharpening his tatty peeler, could take the dater labels off.
We could then sell it in the Indian market in Durban, with all that curry the taste would not show through, and use the funds to buy essentials, after all we all need adrink.

[cappy]

cappy says the DBS stands for Dis Bloody Ship! LOL

or dat bloody ship lol

[j.sabourn]

What about a figurehead we want someone to look the part and have the morals of an alley cat , not Thomas he’s already the mascot , someone like John in Oz , that’s if his hair grows back that is , someone like Capt Kirk from Star Trek to boldly go where no ones been before , with the words I wouldn’t touch that with yours mate , may keep the medical locker supplies longer and may even reach their use by date . JS

[cappy]

Of course if we are to sail again we will need a new baker, Den got sick, must have been eating his own Tab Nabs.
But Cappy could maybe assist he is good with the tatty peeler, but please leave the eyes in, see us through the week.

On a hains old banger the second cook got badly burned on a friday chip night outward bound ....for the gulf basrah with steel pipes and cement ....as we came off the lizard we hit a a couple of big ones .....the bars were already up on the on the range .......the big chip pan started to bounce and the already boiling fat spilled over setting the whole range alight the range was a coal burner ......so oil could not be turned off ......the second cook rushed forward to grab the burning large frying kit .....he picked it up as she took a very fast roll ......he staggered backwards still holding the kit ...but then hit the bulkhead and of course the the kit spilled over him from face to toe ....it was not a happy scene......we went about into falmouth the poor man screamed in agony and it was a hard time for all .....i was supposidly then made up to assitant cook which was a raise from 11 pounds a month to 28 ....we had after leaving falmouth no second cook only 17 year old boy rating and a cook to look after some 42 hands that is some mothereffer of hard work .....i was taught to bake bread and left to it ...only some three months later did i find i was still on a boy rating wage ...i saw the chief steward and nothing changed....meeting the girl of my dreams i skinned out in wallaroo oz ....i later found two assitant stewards the saloon and pantryman plus five or so seamen and boys had also jumped...four of whome i came across in HMP adelaide after being rounded up like sheep....just as an afterthought ....where was the effin union....i guess that is one reason idont like unions .....ps years later in a clothing factory i came across agirl whose husband was the peggy aboard who also jumped we had a good laugh ...but it wasnt bloody funny at the time....R683532

[Graham Shaw]

JS #1576-Oh you and your figureheads,John !
Well ,having mislaid my 'Every Boys Bumper Book of Ships Figureheads '(4th edition )many years ago- I think lent it to an old seadog captain to satisfy his nostalgia for figureheads and sea chests,or so he said,I resorted,as one does,to thumbing through the surprisingly well-thumbed Figureheads and Bowsprit pages of the shipchandlers catalogue ,and think the best one might be this one-,that is our Natalia adorning the bows of a vessel called,appropriately-Natalia.
No,Natalia is not a whale,and is not impaled upon our bow.She's very obliging and even took a forward draft reading for me...

Natalia Figurehead.jpg

[cappy]

hope she has her legs closed lol lol cappy

[Graham Shaw]

hope she has her legs closed lol lol cappy

I don't think our Natalia's a mermaid!