Virtual Ship

[Les Woodard]

Den it seems that you where Queening it around in Santos with the coppers having your own cell. Did it also have a cupboard for you to use. Telling us that we are not single purpose are you telling us that we are all Bi purpose. You are naughty. As for Geoff well it seems he has been under starters orders of late looking for the WC ever since he got a dose of the trots due to the shortage of rum as he had to resort to drinking water or queenie finally caught up with him.

[happy daze john in oz]

I think Alf has cahnges course because he saw Les B Ann and the skipper in a long boat rowing like mad to catch up with us. They have on board something that looks a bit like a cow, no not the one from that liner in the Nile, and she is not happy. This cow is a big butch blond so queenie had better watch out. I am begining to think we have more than our fair share of ex U.C.L. crew on this ship, how did that poem go? 'Gays to the lest of them, gays to the right of them, .......................... thank goodnes we have no soap left in the showers.

[Dennis McGuckin]

Les,No not Bi purpose, more like 'all purpose' Like the flour. Never quite sure what use it is, or how things will turn out!!
Den.

[Mick O'Brien]

hey up lads queenie looks a wee bit angry so it could be handbags at dawn (tickets £2 each) and its 2/1 on the big butch blond. all procedes to my beer funds thank you.
madmick

[Terry Wilcox]

Hi All, I'm back from my A/L, and what a disaster, glad to get back to the ship. Going to turn in now, up in the morning ( maybe ) so if you lot want breakfast "cook it for your selves " . Take care.....Terry.

[happy daze john in oz]

Les B Ann and the skipper are now back aboard and have told Alf to steer a course for Jamacia, not for rum but bananas. If we get there in time for the harvest and get the cargo to the isle of Lesbos in time for the fairy parade we will all get a stalk of bananas each. Heard queenie talking with the big butch blond, all she wants is the stalk. Banana friiters anyone????

[Les Woodard]

Are we going to get extra for putting the bend in the banana's.

[Dennis McGuckin]

Banana fritters. Haven't thought of them in ages. Greasy little b*****s. Used to be a good stand by though when I had been ashore and arrived back aboard late.I still think we should refuse to take on a cargo of Banana's. The only one [that I know of] happy with that would be Les B. Ann. The rest of us would much prefer RUM.
By the way. I never did get any shore leave in Santos. Did we ever dock there??
Den.

[Michael Lawrence]

Can I have some leave Den as I've been telling porkies and havn't yet got ashore? I've been hiding down the fore peak where Vernon sent me for a 'long stand' and the Mate said wait here. I've been here ever since and only sneaked out during the graveyard watch to peel spuds and carrots plus take the skins off the peas. I've been surviving on 32 Bells and your tabnabs (at great expense to my teeth). Do you think I could have a crust of bread and some plum jam. It's dark down here and I would like a torch if possible to see what I'm doing in case Les B Anne comes along ( fingers crossed) . Would love to feel the sun on my back instead of Ahab's lash. If I could swap with whoever is in the crow's nest it would help cure my alapecia plus the rot between me toes.
I heard Capt., Gulliver talking to his Chief Hofficer last night and he said we're going to the Himalayas to a place called Everest. Is it a good place lads? The only Everest I know make windows and those not too well. He the Captain said He may yeti getti his end away, or maybe it was 'getti his yeti end away. What does he mean can one of you blokes oblige me by letting me know. Must close as I can hear the bosun and chippie in the paint locker looking for some turps. Mike

[Dennis McGuckin]

Mike.
You can have some shore leave if we ever touch dry land. Think we are on the Flying Dutchman and doomed to sail forever on the high seas.
As far as having a crust of bread, what did you do with the one I gave you last week? PLUMP JAM Do you think you are on your daddy's yacht? Anyway, we are saving the crusts for the mules in the Panama, if we ever get there. You will have to rough it and survive on tab-nabs and 32 bells.Sorry to hear that you have a dose of alapecia. Must have copped it in Jamaica. Never mind a shot of penicillin will fix it Think Les B Ann is the medical hosifer of the day. Be very careful when you drop your draws.Not sure about the toe thing though. You just may have to take a drastic measure and try washing them.
Off to the fog locker. Must try to drowned the memory of your audacity in asking for shore leave and bread with JAM..
Guess it's all my fault for being too soft on you in the past.
No more Mr. Nice Guy.
Den.