Virtual Ship

Hi fellas, don,t worry i hadn,t jumped ship , i,ve been recovering from Den,s birthday bash :eek::D

hey.. who.s been selling my tabnabs ashore?? i,ll make more if it means more shore leave!

hey i hear we,re off to S.America... can we call in at Santos, had a great time at "hell fire corner" tho i don,t remember getting back to the ship :eek:

i,ll make a start on cleaning up the galley as i take it the galley boy is still nowhere to be seen?

i swear i,m not gonna touch another drop, until we hit Santos that is :D

Tommy the T

Oh illlustrious Chef. There's me posted your birthday card, and some toerag set light to the box. Can't trust anyone these days not even the postman as he was the culprit. Happy Birthday tho I'm a bit late and did you enjoy your morning cuppa this day from your bright attentive Galleyboy(in fact the only ruddy G.B). I made sure I laced your mug of tea with a good tot of 64 Bells. Terry thought it was for him, but I told him at your age you needed all the help you can get to stand erect in any position. Terry was busy splitting the raisins this a.m to go into the tabnabs, he was managing to split 'em to eights so the gang will thing you've been generous (a Scotsman haha) in your allocation. Mind you that Vernon is a tight bugger in issuing stores. I think it has something to do with the Recipie Book he's writing. The girls on the CLEAN site I'm on think he is fabulous. It's a pity my supreme boss he doesn't give you enough stores to really shine.
O.K. Thats enough crawling I better get on with peeling the spuds, and are you sure you want these split peas stuck together for pease pudding? Mike:p;):D

Mike, the fine galley boy that you are. Great cuppa this morning. Needed that livener after last nights anniversary bash.
A little too much champers. Now ready to get stuck in on tab-nab production, which has been on the decline for most of this month due to birthdays and other excuses for going on a bender.
As you point out Mike. You are the only GB on board. Been thinking of signing on another to help you out as we don't want you overworked and getting sick on us [not literally]. As you are also good at sucking up, how about you become my personal Peggy?
Fringe benefits include being able to drink the dregs from my rum bottle.
Den.

SO THATS WHERE YOU ARE DEN. DON'T FORGET THAT I AM A BRIT EVEN THOUGH I USED TO LIVE IN AUCKLAND ( WISH i WAS STILL THERE ) WELL MAYBE WE MIGHT DOCK IN N.Z. ONE DAY, THEN I MIGHT BE ABLE TO SEE SOME OF MY FRIENDS AGAIN. WELL BACK TO THOSE TAB-NABS, I AM STILL TRYING TO SPLIT THE RAISINS INTO 12 PARTS, WE HAVE TO CUT DOWN IN THIS CREDIT CRISIS, OR OUR PAY OFF WILL NOT LOOK TO GOOD, WELL WITH OUR BAR BILL I THINK THAT I WILL BE OWING THE COMPANY MONEY. TAKE CARE...... TERRY :D

Hey lads have we got a dentist on this ship of ours, or some one with clean pliers cause i got a tooth thats giving me right gipp any one mad enough to pull the sod out for me. If not will have to take a few days shore leve to get it sorted.:(:(:(:(

madmick.
ps aaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhh..

Hi Mick , can sort that out no problem . Tie a piece of string to it , tie the other end on to the anchor and wait till the lookout shouts Santos on the starboard bow. It wont be a problem after that:D:D:D

I have just realised this ship set sail on August 1st last year. over one year and what have we achieved. Tab nabs, suspect tab nabs, 2,4,6,8,12,16,32 bells whiskey much of which has ben made in a Welsh cauldron that is used for the dhobi. Alf is faiding away having been tied to the wheel for all that time. We have picked up some very suspect crew, Les B Ann, Queenie, peg leg the cat. A photo of the ship shows that it is in dire need of a good chipping hammer but they are banned under OHS regulations. Vernon had nicked all the loo paper to write the ships log on, Taffy and the Welsh witches are holding covens on the fore deck late at night. The skipper has not been seen for weeks, the last food wee saw was some currants and Den wanted them cut into eight so there would be enough to go round. And I believe when Mike launched this ship he said she would not be a BOT feeder, bloody right mate, on them we got food. To make matters worse someone took the tomato sauce off the Esso road map to put on their tab nab so now even our map is no good. Tried to catch some fish but the only fishing line has been used to lash Alf to the wheel, someone sold all the flags including the quarentine one so we are up the creek. The ships bell has no donger any more so the watch necer changes as no one can ring the bell. Only one thing for it lads, back to the fog locker, Vernon splice the mainbrace, Gulliever weigh the anchor, what do you mean someone sold it????????????????

Now now young John,you do get your 1/2 tin of connie a week and also 2lb loaf. Den that marvelous chef and bottle washer along with Terry and Madmick serve you wonderful tabnabs with a sultana (is that feminin of sultan?). I bet Den also makes sure you get your porridge '8 day's a week'. Somehow I knew that cauldron would come in useful. Providing the Welsh Taffia keep receiving their issue of Laver Bread they'll be happy on the foredeck and you can make a few bob renting out their cabin(s) tell them it's to 'bloods'. You can tell them it's a no expense spared cruise based on the way Easy Jet and Ryan air are run. If you charge 'em extra for their food (don't let Vernon know) you'll make a fortune and be able to take the lovely wife on a proper job especially if you get her to sign on as a lookout.
Is it really over a year since this happy? ship set sail? I'll have to see about getting some leave. I am thinking of signing on as Den's Peggy(be able to keep a closer eye on him and the tabnab production) so we'll need another GB ( that's galley boy not General B*****d) to take on my onerous duties in the galley.
I think we ought to all re assign and swear allegiance to 'Our Ship' the 'Virtuality' and have a voter on where to go to next. Me! I'm for Nelson in the Sth Island not the o0ne in Lancashire coz I fancy a nice apple and to look up a nurse I once knew. Must sign off as the other Skipper has work for me . Mike:D:p;)

Mike, Your duties onerous or otherwise, have been at a premium for most of this trip as you are adrift so often.As for the Peggy rating, tis myself that wants you to take it so I can keep an eye on YOU!
On another subject.I recall some time back that we were voting on a name for this vessel. Had some really good suggestions, but don't recall any decision? Did we really settle for 'Virtual'? I wanted Viagra. No Daze not for me, for the ships name. Then again!!!
Den.

WEll Den the viagra thing might not be so bad, it might just keep the mast upright. The rigging to hold it up have all been used by those Welsh wizards to boil the cauldron cos they were full of tar. There is a young lad on the quay side wants to sign on as a J.O.S. but he saw queenie looking over the side so he is not so sure. Mike has the right idea about renting out cabins, but we can do better all we need is some strap hangers a la ryan air and we can take hundreds. If we only charge them $10 a trip using the loose dedck boards we would get enough for some decent food and grog. The you could have a night off???????????????????????:eek: