IF
If I was a dog
I would be multilingual
and bark at people
in Swedish and Lithuanian
but not Korean.
Sometimes, I would hump a few legs
to watch people panic
As I steal their fantasies.
If I was a cat
I would stop playing a guitar with my tongue.
I would walk around all day
with my tail straight up
in one eyed splendour.
Sometimes I would patronise my way
into a fish supper.
If I was a goldfish
I would swim around in my own
Hall of Mirrors
and sing silent protest songs.
A scaly Donovan but just as
effective.
I would not drink
the water.
If I was a bird
It would be terrible because
kissing would hurt
and birds can’t swim
and cats might piss people off
and get thrown out without their
fish supper,
and look for me.
If I was a mole
and had to choose between
honey and molasses
I wouldn’t know which-way to
Turn.
If I was an elephant,
I would have a tail
at both ends
then psychiatrists would say
I was well
balanced..
If I was a hippopotamus
how would I know if it was
Tuesday.?
I'd rather be a dog.
Reg Kear, © the day before yesterday.
