A funny thing happened on the way to the forum

[Gerald Farr]

There must be many untold humorous stories from our time at sea and one that was told to me by one of our Captains, which may or not be true was as follows. Back in the day when the UK had a real M.N. a young lad from Grimsby went to Sea after having done some time as a deck hand on trawlers. He got himself kitted out with his own gear, not borrowed as on the trawlers, and as a going away present his Mother bought him a pair of fishing boat rubber boots to go with his oilskins. One night when there was a bit of spray occasionally coming over the bow and he was due to go on lookout he put on his oilskins, sou'wester, and boots and made his way towards the foc'sle to relieve the current lookout. As he approached the lookout turned towards him and then started to move away to the other side, then moved more quickly and started to run down the other side of the ship. The young lad lad started running as well, following the lookout who suddenly tripped and fell with the lad falling on top of him. The lad asked "Why are we running?" and the reply was "You, you stupid little barsteward, all I could see coming up the deck was two white boots" ( Worn on fishing boats so as not to mark the fish.)

[j.sabourn]

Sailed with one mate who held a fishing Skippers ( Full) and he maintained as others I had contact with , that stick fishing gear on the Queen Mary and he was licenced to take her to sea. Never saw this done however. Smaller vessels yes . JS

[Gerald Farr]

Another amusing true tale that didn't start at sea but rather in the sea. My late Uncle was one of those poor devils standing in the sea and then running for shelter on the low dunes of Dunkirk beach when being strafed by the German Luftwaffe. He was in the rearguard trying to slow down the enemy, they had lost all of their officers and my Uncle was keeping his group together even though he was only a Private. Fortunately they did manage to evacuate and he always praised the bravery of the small boats who saved them. Unknown to him an officer with another group of soldiers noticed how he had kept up the morale of his men and found out his name, later recommending him for Officer Training which he duly undertook. On the final day and the final test to check their ability to communicate they had to give a 5/10 minute talk. The subject of the talk was drawn from the examining officer's hat, so whilst one man was talking the next drew his subject and had a few minutes to prepare his speech. When my Uncle drew his subject he immediately asked if he could change it and was told most emphatically no he could not. He then asked if he should say what the Army would like to hear or or what he thought. He was told to say what he really thought and to get on with it, his subject was "What I think of the British Army". Apparently the others thought it was a hilarious twenty plus minute speech. The Officer in charge obviously didn't have a sense of humour because he said "Until you made that speech Johnson you were a f.........g officer" and at the end of the war when he was demobbed he was still a Private.

[j.sabourn]

#3 I had two uncles also at Dunkirk Gerald, one my Aunts husband and one my dads brother both now dead. Think have mentioned before however, one came off the beach with rifle and bayonet intact ,,the other swapped his for a piano accordion which he played for some time going around the London Pubs. Cheers JS.

[Des Taff Jenkins]

Hi John.
He should have been on the front line, the Germans liked a bit of what I call whut whut music, it may have lulled them to sleep LoL.
Des

[happy daze john in oz]

A cousin to my mother was from Weymouth and his family with their fishing boat made a number of trips across to Dunkirk.
Brought a good few soldiers home.