Poole to Morocco

[Graham Shaw]

Poole! Doc, I used to live there and appropriate for my height, in Lilliput Road!

Aw Ivan-you've shattered my illusions of you! I pictured you as a six foot eleven Brobdingnagian ! Just wait till I tell my mate Lemuel (aka Davey) Gulliver!
Now? it's a vision of you stood on an orange box on the bridge wing !
Once,as third mate at docking with the short-arsed old man,actually the 'commodore' captain of the cargo fleet,-bit of a big deal in some companies back in those days-and me trying to create a good impression, accidentally kicked his box upon which he stood on to see over the bridge dodger. "Oh you bluddy big useless, clumsy faffing-about tarty oaf ,3/O !" (not sure of the exact order of those words now,but all were used) he shouted in his distinctive Hull accent as the Pilot helped him up and I ran back into the wheelhouse to write the movement book,and the quartermaster tried not to scream with laughter....
Never forgotten ,after 45 years.

[Ivan Cloherty]

Aw Ivan-you've shattered my illusions of you! I pictured you as a six foot eleven Brobdingnagian ! Just wait till I tell my mate Lemuel (aka Davey) Gulliver!

Woe is me! I doth hate to shatter anyone's illusions, illusions which I never had, wanted or owned, I not be so short as unable to see over said bridge wing dodgers (that will confuse some lands people) I never needed said orange box to peek over same as my head and indeed shoulders were well above such parapet,(well in an old Empire vessel where-in they must have been saving on steel and timber!) nor did fierce winds blasting over said dodger disturb my then curly locks to such a degree that one would notice. Alas such locks have long disappeared into the wind and my height has declined with the passing years, and such loss is exaggerated by the incredible height of today's young who have not known the blessings of rationing.

Fortunately I have also traversed the oceans with those in command who were nearer the ground than myself and required such box to see over the artful dodger, with said box disappearing on a regular basis on the 0000-0400 watch, nay I was not guilty of such malice or aforethought, but fellow travellers had had a piece of tree added to their conduct and were regular visitors to their trick at the wheel and it is apparent they had another trick of making a box disappear. Happy days

[Malcolm Lawrence]

Great news, one of the first Brexit Breakers, a few hundred more Brit boats swerving around the European Mafia might actually rejuvinate our Merchant fleets.