What gets your goat!

[Ivan Cloherty]

The title is an old Yorkshire expression, I was going to title it 'What pizzes you off' but out of respect for the ladies decided not to.

I recently purchased a reference book by a well known author, here's what it says about said gentleman 'X is a full time researcher and writer and the author of some twentyfive books on shipping history. His specialism is cargo ships in the steam era, and in 2005 he was awarded a PhD for a thesis on the transition from sail to steam in coastal bulk trades. He is a Council member and Trustee of the World Ship Society Ltd. His previous work for Seaforth (Publishers) was 'Coasters-an illustrated history'

High sounding credentials you may agree and hardly likely to get even a basic photograph wrong.....alas.........it would appear said gentleman does in reality not know the sharp end from the blunt end as on page 17 there is a photograph with the notation 'a precarious looking exercise during the painting of the funnel of "Baron Herries" in Australian waters in 1958' alas it shows a photo that even a 16 year old deckboy would be able to recognise as an AB about 2 feet above the foredeck sat in a bosuns chair who it would appear from the mess on deck has been white lead and tallowing the foremast stay, the foc'le head is clearly visible, I have yet to see a funnel on the foredeck, now stupid mistakes like that make me wonder about the veracity of the rest of the tome and get my goat!

[Nigel Smith]

During my time at sea I wrote the odd piece and sent the manuscripts to a couple of popular shipping magazines. I didn't do it for money, though I did get a cheque for £40 on one occasion. I did it because I thought it may be of interest to seafarers past and present, and possibly non seafarers. Little did I expect to get criticism from those 'experts' on nautical matters that had never served at sea, but I did.

One of these 'experts' I once met at a talk in Southampton, he was an 'expert' on the Southampton shipping scene. At the end of the talk which was quite interesting (though far from accurate), I managed to make conversation with him. I managed to steer the conversation to articles in certain shipping magazines, in particular a piece of mine that he had criticised. I didn't let on to who I was and let him carry on. His opinion was that those that served at sea were nothing more than 'bus drivers', these people 'get on a ship, they drive the ship to point A and then to point B and back again, that's all they do'. I never let on that I was the author of this certain piece.

Since then I've seen this 'expert' on tv several times. Whenever there's a new cruise ship, a ship is involved in an incident or some other related matter this guy is there. He should have been a politician. He's invited on new ships for his opinions of the vessel, purely on the basis he's convinced people he knows what he's talking about. My inquiries over the years discovered the guy was a junior clerk in a freight office in Southampton, he was eventually fired. Then after a period of unemployment became an 'expert' in shipping matters... and the rest is history as they say. Since the guy is still firing on all cylinders (and still full of it) I shall refrain from naming him.

It goes to show that if you can convince people you know what you're talking about, you're an 'expert'!

[Les Woodard]

Was reading a good book about a German Raider and was really interesting until I got a part where they found an island to hide due to damages. Upon arriving at said island the ship foundered on a submerged rock. When the author said that the captain lined up all the crew on the port side to all run to the starboard side on his command and repeat said exercise until they could get enough motion to be able to roll of said rock is when that book eneded up in the garbage bin in disgust. Have heard many tales on number five but never a tall one like that one. How the hell do they get away with it. Like so many history writer's here in Oz who still maintain that the first fleet started out with basic stuff and impoverished and sick prisoners when the facts dictate that the first fleet was the most successful voyage at that time with the minimum loss of life ever or very close to it. Instead of praising Phillip they find that to sell books it pays to highlight deprivation hence twisting facts to suit their needs to make a living.

[Chris Allman]

Nigel - things that comfort me, one the definition of an expert or as its pronounced exspert is :-

Ex = Has been

Spert = elongated drip

Makes me happier when looking at so called Experts

[Brian Charles Williams]

A letter to the publishers may well put that right Ivan..............regards Brian W

[Brian Charles Williams]

I have a book on `famous `shipwrecks through the ages. It tells the reader that on the 3rd. Jan.1962 the Flying Enterprise foundered off the British coast in a raging gale !!..............You would think something like the date would be right ?...........Brian W.

[happy daze john in oz]

It would appear, even to Blind Freddy, that the writers of thses books and articles are in fact news reporters in disguise.

Saw part of a interstate cricket match on Saturday, then the TV report, it was bloody obvious this reporter had been no where near the match.

[Ivan Cloherty]

A letter to the publishers may well put that right Ivan..............regards Brian W

Its in the pipeline Brian

[j.sabourn]

Ivan, Know what you mean when you say it gets up your nose. Think I may have put this on before. A few years ago was over in uk to give an interview to commemorate the 25th Anniversary of the 167 lives lost on July 6th. 1988 in the North sea. The bloke doing the interview had also written a book on the incident, he himself I found a very nice bloke, but was a well known professional journalist. The cameraman was also a well known Bafta winner. All went well as
far as I could see, I said what I believed to be true and was a repeat of all statements plus I had already giving at the occurrence However on picking up the book on arriving home I read the forward ...
" The fire was visible seventy miles away as a distant, flickering flame on the horizon. The heat generated was so intense that a helicopter could only circle at a perimeter of one mile, the tongues of flame extending hundreds of feet above the rotor blades. On the surface a converted fishing trawler inched as close as possible, but the paint on the vessels hull blistered and burnt, and the rope handrails began to smoke. In the water surrounding the inferno, mens heads could be seen bobbing like apples as their scalps burned with the heat.
At the centre stood, at least for now, the Piper Alpha Oil Platform, 110 miles NE of Aberdeen, once the worlds single largest oil producer . On 6th July 1988, its final day, it was ablaze with 226 men on board. Only 61 would survive."
On reading this what put me off was the reference to the rope handrails, I have no recollection of there being any on the Silver Pit. The Author his partner on the making of this documentary was actually in the Helicopter on the taken off of the badly burned survivors who was also a nice guy, but was only there when everyone had finally had pulled away from the platform as by then it was a heap of junk. I have even with this book never read right through, as reading the forward could see what it was going to contain, peoples statements off the rig when they heard the alarm bells going off and
where they were in bed or whatever. The first book written by one of the survivors was crap and I let
it be known it was such. After returning to Australia I received a phone call from Scottish TV who had
bought the Documentary asking if I would come back and rearrange some of my replies to questions asked, I told them it was a waste of time as would not change the answers. People who write books and give out media statements must think they have this licence to put their own thoughts. What got up my nose was the non existant rope handrails, and the blistering paint, who told him that? certainly wasn't me. I did mention at the interview about the possibility of gas in the water and made for positions where things were floating, and about opening and closing the windows in the wheelhouse to try and prevent them imploding. However nothing I have said to any reporters or Documentary makers has been published, maybe eff off to the first , and you are incorrect to the second stops this,
may have some influence on this, what I put on this site regarding my own views on the situation is the correct interpretation from a seamans point of view. Anything that bears a dissimilarity with the truth gets up my nose as well. After a time though the people who do all the talking and brain washing one gets fed up with and one finally says believe what you want to believe, however before doing so give them a run for their money and let the genuine people know the truth. Cheers JS

[j.sabourn]

#6... Whats 10 years here or there Brian. Have also seen the same on reference to dates on the computer, as know the dates given out on various helicopter and naval downed aircraft leave a lot to be desired, and will go down in the history books as being correct, when in fact they are wrong. Beware the written word. Hope they get the facts right on my tombstone, died 2055. Cheers JWS