Short Documentary - Looking for Mariners in long distance relationships

[Celia Watson]

Hi,

I hope you don't mind my post on a slightly unusual subject. I’m researching a short documentary for a UK director Glen Milner about the challenges of long distance relationships.

One of the circumstances that I am considering are couples that are separated due to careers at sea, in particular through voyages with a long time apart. It'd be great to learn more about this industry, it sounds fascinating.

Ultimately we’re looking to film with a couple about their experiences and in their daily lives, with a view to also filming them as they reunite after a long period apart.

I wondered if anyone on this forum might be interested in messaging me about this, or if you know of anyone suitable and could pass on my email so I can answer any questions they may have. I'm looking for people who are currently working in this industry.

To give you an idea of Glen's style, examples of his work can be viewed on his website here: Glen Milner

My email is celia.watson@gmail.com

I look forward to hearing from you!

Thanks,
Celia

PS. I tried to message the admin listed in the rules section about permission to post, but unfortunately the email bounced. If there is someone else that I should contact please let me know.

[Captain Kong]

Hi Celia,
a long distance relationship didnt do my marriage any good,
I was away overseas for around four months at a time, I arrived home from seafaring one time after 21 years of marriage, My house was empty, no furniture, my two very young sons sat on the floor watching a rented TV set. "What has happened ? I asked the lads. "Mum turned up with a man and loaded all the furniture on a van and went off. " I slept on the floor that night, no bed.
Next day I went to the bank, we had a joint account, I wanted some money to buy a bed and then some furniture, Tho` my excellent salary had just been paid in, the account was overdrawn by £500.
The Bank Manager was sympathetic and gave me an overdraft to purchase a bed.
She moved in with the man only three streets away and my furniture is still in that house,
We became friends again later. Unfortunately she died two years ago,
So that is the alternative of what happens in a long distance relationship.
Cheers
Brian.

[Ivan Cloherty]

Ceila it depends upon what you mean by long distance and long time apart relationships, to most of us old seadogs they are not separated for a long time these days nor are they out of communication with all the modern means of instant communication. In our days 50's and 60's it was not unusual to be away for 12 to 24 months with no hope of communication except by letter and these were received three to four months after posting, anyway absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they used to say.

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I spent only two dates with my girl before sailing off into the sunset not returning home for 19 months, I knew I was going to marry her before I even knew her name, we were married shortly after my return and we had 28 years of honeymoon together, but she died at a relatively young age 21 years ago, but she lit up my life and made my absences bearable.

[Doc Vernon]

Hello Celia
No problems on that post,hope you will get more good replies that will assist you!
Thanks for joining!
Admin

[Red Lead Ted]

Hi, Celia. The longest of my trips lasted just over 1 year, I sent 3 dear Johns home, Does that count..........

[j.sabourn]

Relationships at sea.... I am just coming up to our 53rd next week. Spent a lot more time away than ever did at home. Think if I had worked ashore would have been turfed out years ago. A few years ago one of my daughters friends was going out with a young seafarer, she came up to my wife to ask how she managed with such long absences, this young girl was talking about 2 and 3 months maximum separation. Most on this site would do that standing on their heads. I overheard my wifes reply which was if you marry a seaman you should know what to expect, so only have yourself to blame, it is his job to go away. I think this young lad packed the sea in, I often think I hope he made the right choice. Cheers JS

[j.sabourn]

#5... Terry, that's what you get for going out with females called John. JS

[Red Lead Ted]

John, My favourite saying in life is......................You're never fully dressed without your smile, Life is to short mate, We share the same sense of humour along with a few other morals in life which I have noticed. Live life as if every day was your last and one day you will get it right, But I never worry when that day will be. Regards J.S. Terry.

[Celia Watson]

Thanks everyone for your responses!

It's really interesting to hear your stories. Although some of the ones I've heard here and elsewhere are very sad, or at least life can be harsh.
In fact you guys must have so many incredible stories!

I get your points about the definition of what long-distance means. For this project, we've got a sliding scale as to what we're considering - it really depends on the circumstances. Ideally over 9 months physically separate. But we've also heard of some incredible human stories where the time apart is much less. And you're right about the technology aspect and the impact that has - that is also affecting what we're looking for. And 2 years away with hardly any communication, I can't even imagine.

Really at the moment I'm open to hearing all different types of experiences, it's all helpful. Although eventually we're hoping to film with a couple who are separated - although how feasible that is, I'm not too sure, it would depend on a number of things.

[j.sabourn]

Celia, I joined one ship in the States, and the mates and Engineers had been on her and away from home for 2 and a half years. The 2 year Articles expired in Japan and they agreed to resign on again on the understanding they would be relieved on the Eastern seaboard of the US. My agreement with these same owners was 12 months which I always insisted on, on foreign vessels. As regards the crowd after 2 and a half years, it suited one of them as enabled him to get a poor mans divorce after 2 years away from his wife, so suited some people. The particular master on same ship was there for 7 years, believe he was home for a week during that time. Nowadays divorces are more common ashore than seafarers, the average marriage here in Australia is I believe 8 years, no staying power some of this generation. Regards JS