A Senior Cits Joke.

Are you sure it wasn’t Lady Chatterlys Lover Graham, Port Said version. JS

#5 Graham one of the What’s ? From boyhood “ what’s green and prickly and goes up and down ? “ Answer a Gooseberry in a lift. JS

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Originally Posted by j.sabourn

#5 Graham one of the What’s ? From boyhood “ what’s green and prickly and goes up and down ? “ Answer a Gooseberry in a lift. JS

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Whats long and thin, covered in skin, red in parts and you shove it in tarts.
Rhubarb

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Originally Posted by j.sabourn

#5 Graham one of the What’s ? From boyhood “ what’s green and prickly and goes up and down ? “ Answer a Gooseberry in a lift. JS

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Ha Ha !
or up and down more times than a tart's drawers,or up and down more times than a new bride's nightie.

or crossed and uncrossed more times than a tart's legs
or in and out more times than a Mother Superior's cucumber.

Oh dear,if I'd paid more attention to Business and Law for the Shipmaster I could have been a Captain now:D........

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Originally Posted by j.sabourn

Are you sure it wasn’t Lady Chatterlys Lover Graham, Port Said version. JS

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Might have been a Taiwanese copy of The Perfumed Garden. It was said that one had to be careful of buying such bootleg editions in Keelung,as it was rumoured that two out of every ten copies were written in Chinese...:(

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Originally Posted by Graham Shaw

Ha Ha !
or up and down more times than a tart's drawers,or up and down more times than a new bride's nightie.

or crossed and uncrossed more times than a tart's legs
or in and out more times than a Mother Superior's cucumber.

Oh dear,if I'd paid more attention to Business and Law for the Shipmaster I could have been a Captain now:D........

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There was a Shell tanker nick named the honey moon ship, it was the Hinnites.

The way us oldies see it…
1. We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.
2. For my age I have a lot going for me, my eyes are going, my knees are going, my back is going……..
3. Don’t worry about getting older , you’re still going to do dumb stuff, only slower.
4. Duct tape can’t fix stupid………..but it can muffle the sound.
JS

#14 what question did you fail on Graham , was it on the lifeboat when you were going through the gear, and you said one and a half sets of bollicks instead of one and a half sets of crutches , thinking crutches may of been a bit crude ? However if you had said rowlocks you would still have been wrong , crutches are crutches and ever more
shall be so, even though if like me they have been an aid to walking also. Cheers JS

Hi John.
As they say, as you get older you have to get bolder, like this bloke who thought it would be easier to cut his hedge with a lawn mower, held it up sideways to the hedge, trouble was his arms got tired so he shifted his grip, ended up in hospital getting his fingers sewn back on.
Des

A priest and a Rabbi were talking one day.
The priest said to the Rabbi, have you ever eaten pork
His reply much better than sex I say.