Dear Santa

[j.sabourn]

A bit late for the recent Xmas but for those who missed out can always use next year…
Dear Santa…
If I come to visit you, and sit upon your knee.
Will you call on Xmas Eve , and leave some gifts for me,
I’ve written out a little list, of what I would like to get,
Some spectacles , some dentures ( a top and bottom set),
I’d also like a hearing aid ,so people wouldn’t need to shout,
You see I’m in my eighties , and I’ve started wearing out.
JS…

[happy daze john in oz]

Imagination, all in the mind.
So you expect the little Elf's to make teeth for you, in your dreams.
If they did most likely be kid size ones anyway, too small for you.

[j.sabourn]

Wot you don’t believe in Santa ? He wears falsies as well you know. JS

[Des Taff Jenkins]

Hi John.
I can claim three of them, have the Glasses {Multable} I have the hearing aids again multable but still have my teeth, but so far not wearing out.
Cheers Des

[Des Taff Jenkins]

My eyesight can't be that bad, yesterday just before we went up the Club for dinner I was searching for the pin that went in to lock the bedroom window, looked everywhere then decided to move the bed and there it was, but beside it was a $50 note, the wife tried to claim it but had no chance! her hands are to weak to open my wallet LoL.
Des

[j.sabourn]

Maybe she’s too frightened of your teeth damaging her hand Des ? JS

[happy daze john in oz]

Glasses, partial dentures, good hearing but still have all my teeth that came out.
Keep them in a box waiting for the tooth fairy to come.
Been waiting a bloody long time.

[j.sabourn]

This joke was sent before Xmas but just got yesterday how’s that for delayed emails. Sent by an old ex member of site….

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client.His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling very worn out and depressed.As soon as he walked in the door , his wife started on him about …What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I’m not reheating it, and so on. Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whisky and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself upstairs . While he was in the bathtub the phone rang. The wife answered it and was told that her husbands client , James Wright , had been granted a stay of execution after all. wright would not be hanged tonight. Finally realising what a terrible day he must have had ,she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.As she opened the bathroom door , she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked drying his legs and feet, They’re not hanging Wright tonight she said . He whirled around and screamed , FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DONT YOU EVER STOP ?
JS

[Des Taff Jenkins]

Hi John.
It's early days yet but the best of the year so far. Just left my wife in tears.
Des