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Thread: Conjoined Twins

  1. #1
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    Default Conjoined Twins

    Walk into a bar in Australia and park themselves on barstools .
    One of them says to the bartender , don’t mind us we are joined at the hip I’m John and he’s Jim.
    Two fosters beers please Draft.
    The bar tender tries to make conversation , been on holiday yet lads ? Off to America next month says John , we go every year and rent a car and drive for miles, don’t we Jim. ? Jim agrees .
    Ah ! America says the bartender wonderful country , New York, LA, Vegas .
    Nah we don’t like that American crap says John , meat pies and fosters beer that’s us eh Jim ? We cant stand the yanks with all their political rubbish these days !
    So why keep going to America says the Bartender ?
    It’s the only chance Jim gets to drive says John.

    JS
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    Default Re: Conjoined Twins

    Went to the pharmacy to get some of those K9 masks.
    If you want masks for you dog said the assistant then go to the pet shop.

    Man is Made of clay, but it takes a woman to make a mug out of him.

    A free thinker is a man who is not married.

    Found a new washing powder the other day by the name of Vanish.
    Said to get rid of all known you do not want.

    It does not work

    Gave some to the mother in law, she is still here.
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

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    Default Re: Conjoined Twins

    John an idea for your anniversary. I received from one of my offspring done professionally and plasticed for framing, although this is not in the right order this is the information on it....
    Prime minister Harold Macmillan
    President John F. Kennedy.
    Headlines. Celebrities Sports TV. Movies. Music

    John & Gwennneth
    The year you were Married 1962. 4d. Limited Edition

    Highlights World Population. Chinese Zodiac
    Monarch Queen Elizabeth 11. 3.15 Billion. Year of the Tiger

    Headlines
    The Sunday Times the1st. Paper to print in Colour ..
    Panda Crossings are Introduced causing confusions for drivers and pedestrians due to their complexity.
    Beatles play their 1st. Session at Abbey Road .
    First Broadcast of Quiz Show University Challenge.
    John and Gwenneth are married ,27 th. January.

    AVERAGE PRICES
    House. 2670 pounds. PINT. 11.5 p
    Newspaper 1.5p. Petrol (G). 25 p
    Salary 799 pounds. Pint of Milk 6.5p

    FAMOUS BIRTHS.
    Tom Cruise American actor
    Steve Irwin. Australian Zookeeper.
    Jon Bon Jovi. Rock Star
    Jodie. Foster. American Actress
    Suzanne Collins. The Hunger Games Author.

    OSCAR WINNERS.
    Best Picture West Side Story.
    Best Actor. Maximilian Schell
    Best Actress. Sophia Loren
    Best Director. Robert Wise and Jerome Robbins.

    SPORTING NEWS
    Football League Ipswich Town
    Five Nations. France
    Wimbledon. RodLaver/ Karen Hantze Susman
    Masters. Arnold Palmer.

    Christmas Number 1. Return to sender Elvis Presley

    Top Films. Dr. No. The Longest Day Lawrence of Arabia. In Search of Castaways. The Music Man Lolita

    Number 1 on the 27 January The Young Ones Cliff Richard.

    Movie Quote “ You never really know a person until you consider things from his point of view,/ To kill a mockingbird .

    When displayed in the right order may do if your hard up come the next Anniversary.

    Cheers JS....
    Last edited by j.sabourn; 7th February 2022 at 09:29 AM.
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    Default Re: Conjoined Twins

    So John you got it in 1962, we got it in 1968.
    In 1964 I saw West Side Story in Sydney.
    Saw the new version a couple of weeks ago, excellent.

    Petrol is a wee bit more expensive at about $1.90, but cars are better now.

    Panda crossings better suited to China, but then Zebra may be better in central Africa.

    We had real money then not plastic and tap and go was what you did at work clocking on.

    TV was all black and white with such non woke as the Black and White Minstral Show, followed in color by Love thy Neighbor.

    Beer was in a pint glass none were refrigerated like now.

    H. Wilson was PM and i wrote to him on a housing matter, got a reply and still have it, might get a bit more than 3/9 on E bay if I sell it.
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

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    Talking Re: Conjoined Twins

    I really just wondered why the term 'conjoined twins' ,rather than the older term Siamese twins' seems to be the more acceptable one these days.
    Do you think it is to avoid insulting those lovely Thai people?.Come to think of it Thai' twins ' would have sounded more alliterative and amusing back then,but of course Thailand was still known to we foreigners as Siam,so Siamese twins it was. Now,I think I will always associate Siamese with a beautiful but scrawny feline moggy,and Thai nowadays at my age conjures up visions of a green curry,rather than a beautiful slant-eyed maiden wearing her pha chung hang-I had to look that one up to get the words in the right order-you know how it is with foreign languages-get one word in a sentence in the wrong position and it's possible you might need a British Embassy official to get you out of jail.

    I used to have an MGB back in the day,and ,I'm not an engineer, but I remember it had 'siamesed ports' ,according to it's advertised features,which I knew had one port serving multiple cylinders.It sounded more efficient but I doubt it afforded any increase in performance. The MGB? Well,it might have done well in California where many rust-free examples still survive,but in Manchester?...Gerroffit!, mine soon dissolved,and I- suppose its siamesed ports were separated and stowed on a spare parts shelf for future use.
    I then went to sea and only learnt about the other Siamese Ports-Paknam,Erawan Terminal,Sattahip and Kohsichang.No,apart from Bangkok Airport transit lounge I wasn't fortunate to visit any-they were just names known to me in my chart-correcting chore when second mate.

    They have Siamese elephants in Thailand,don't they?Elephant.gif

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    Default Re: Conjoined Twins

    Re . Your chart correcting Graham hope you put in the abundant red lights for those areas. Funnily enough in Japan in the 50’s all the bars in Japan had red lights and I first thought they were knocking shops. But turned out they were to distinguish them as respectable Japanese family bars and non European . Our bars were down the side streets so as not to embarrass the citizens of the country. Apartheid in reverse you might say. Still I made various Japanese friends at times and was taken into these red lighted bars where the beer was so much cheaper , but you were only allowed in if accompanied by an adult who had to be Japanese . Cheers JS
    Last edited by j.sabourn; 8th February 2022 at 11:08 AM.
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    Default Re: Conjoined Twins

    And back in those days of the 60', if you wanted a cold beer you went to the pub on a frosty night
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

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