Scousers

[Dennis McGuckin]

In an effort to win the constructor’s title, the Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday and replaced them with just four scousers. This announcement follows a recent documentary showing how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high-tech equipment. It was thought to be a bold move by the Ferrari management as most races are won and lost in the pits. However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for!
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mercedes team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Hamilton's ex-bird in the shower.

[John Pruden]

dennis when was the last time you were in my well loved city we get millions coming back here every year my area of work was 6 years in tocky and never had a bad day? jp

[Denis O'Shea]

John a lot of this negativity about scousers was was used by plastic scouse comedians who moved down south as soon as they thought they had mad it, the likes of Tarbuck comes to mind. Rgds Den

[thomas michael]

hi dennis McGuckin #1
good evening, your joke regarding liverpool car thieves has legs, as the chief of merseyside police force in the 1980s a ken oxford, at a meeting of top brass gave a speech on crime in liverpool city at that time, and he went on to extoll the professional expertise of the average car thief, by stating how it was reported that a vehical stolen in liverpool was left at the great wall in china, and after hearing it on the local news i thought it in bad taste at the time but no doubt it was a true statement.
tom

[Dennis McGuckin]

#3 Hi John,
My first trip back to England, after I came to Canada, was in the late 60s- early 70s
Went up to Liverpool, and phoned an old shipmate who lived in Lodge Lane.
Right away he took the next day off, and we did a lot of catching up.
As I recall, mainly while in pubs.
Think I was poured back on the train.
I did quite a few trips out of Liverpool.
The best crews I ever sailed with.
They would give you the shirts off their back.
In fact that did happen to me when I was a beachy in Santos.
Liverpool ship came in, so I went aboard.
Sure enough, some old shipmates.
Great people.
Den.

[happy daze john in oz]

Sailed with a few of them lads.

One in particular on the Paparoa got me into more trouble than Flash Gordon.
Thrown out of Young and Jacksons in Melbourne when full as a boot he asked for Soup in a Basket.

But a great guy all the same

[happy daze john in oz]

We've all talked to this guy.

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .

The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar,
You have passed all the tests, except one. It is a simple test of your English language skills
Unless you pass it , you cannot qualify for this job.'

Mujibar said, 'I am ready.'

The manager said,

You must make a sentence using the words
Yellow, Pink, and Green .'

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said,
'Mister manager, I am ready.'

The manager said, 'Go ahead.'

Mujibar said,
'The telephone goes green, green,
And I pink it up, and say,
Yellow, this is Mujibar.'

Mujibar now works at a call centre.

No doubt you have spoken to him.
I know I have.

[John Gill]

Sailed with a few of them lads.

One in particular on the Paparoa got me into more trouble than Flash Gordon.
Thrown out of Young and Jacksons in Melbourne when full as a boot he asked for Soup in a Basket.

But a great guy all the same

My late brother in law Ginger, who one or two on here may have met in the Pen& Wig, was ab on the Paparoa when she carried sheep on deck from NZ bound for Mauritius and almost caused a mutiny for refusing to look after them reasoning that he was a sailor not a farmer. The skipper eventually got a couple of apprentices to tend his flock. He did indeed like a glass and the soup saga sounds typical of him.
Gilly

[Red Lead Ted]

Den you need a passport to enter the City these days, I witnessed a beauty last year two likable rogues really never hurt anyone in there lives, There was an old factory not far from me about to be demolished anyway, I spotted one of them heaving this bloody big aluminium roofing beam out the door of the place then straight across to the scrap yard with the two of them splitting the dosh before pushing there luck and going back for another on ETC... I was stood waiting for the wife to come out of the local supermarket laughing my bloody head off. As they entered back in whatever they had done there was jet sprays of water shooting every where' With that two cop cars pulled into the complex and this bloody big cop batten drew stay exactly were you are you two he shouted, With that one of the lads who were both wearing yellow jackets turned and shouted back to the bobby all is in hand officer were water board pulling his yellow jacket up in view OK Said the bobby turned around back to the car and drove off with his partner. As we say in these parts there are no problems only solutions

[happy daze john in oz]

My late brother in law Ginger, who one or two on here may have met in the Pen& Wig, was ab on the Paparoa when she carried sheep on deck from NZ bound for Mauritius and almost caused a mutiny for refusing to look after them reasoning that he was a sailor not a farmer. The skipper eventually got a couple of apprentices to tend his flock. He did indeed like a glass and the soup saga sounds typical of him.
Gilly

I did hear about that and a few other events on her.
Was well known on both the Oz and NZ coasts.
Good ship and we had a great crew when I was on her.