Neologisms

[j.sabourn]

Once again the Washington Post has published the winning submissions of its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words
The winners are;
1 Coffee (n) The person upon whom one coughs

2 Flabbergasted (adj) Appalled at how much weight you have gained

3 Abdicate (v) To give up hope of ever having a flat stomach

4 Esplanade (v) To attempt an explanation while drunk

5 Willy-Nilly (adj) Impotent

6 Negligent (adj) A condition in which you absently minded answer the door in your nightgown.

7 Lymph (v) To walk with a lisp

8 Gargoyle (n) Olive flavoured mouthwash

9 Flatulence (n) Emergency vehicle that picks you up after you have been run over by a steamroller

10 Balderdash (n) Rapidly receding hairline

11 Testicle (n) A humorous question in an exam

12 Rectitude (n) The formal dignified bearing adopted by proctologists

13 Pokemon ((n) Rastafarian proctologist

JS

[John Gill]

...engineer..
Train getting close to the station.

[j.sabourn]

Should have got that one in to the Washington Post John .
What about Pioneer (n) a compulsive pie eater until they come out of his ears ...

[happy daze john in oz]

Pie Face, trying to eat a pie when full as a boot.