Matrimony

[Des Taff Jenkins]

Bob fears that his wife of 54 years, Peggy, isn't hearing as well as she used to, but is not sure how to raise it, given her sensitivity over getting older. The family Doctor advises him how to at least confirm that she is going deaf. " Stand about 10 meters away, and in a normal conversional speaking tone talk to her ad see if she hears you, if not go to 8 meters, then six meters and so on until you get a response.
That evening Peggy is in the kitchen cooking, so Bob positions himself near the TV and asks, "What's for dinner love"? No response so he moves to the dinning room. "Peg, what's for dinner ?" Nothing, So he comes into the kitchen door, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still nothing. Saddened he moves right behind her. "Peg, what's for dinner."?" "For God's sake Bob, for the BLOODY FOURTH time CHICKEN !.

[Keith at Tregenna]

TAKES TWO TO GET MARRIED?

I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble,
but shouldn’t that be an even number?

[Frank Thorp]

Well spotted Keith.

Frank.

[Keith at Tregenna]

Love the average family have 2.3 children ?

The modern couple look forward to three children, one of each ?

K.

[Keith at Tregenna]

1 1 flower.jpg

[Keith at Tregenna]

An elderly couple were celebrating their 70th anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Paul had carved, ‘I love you, Kathy’.

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armoured car, practically landing at their feet. Paul quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, he counted the money - one hundred thousand dollars!

Kathy said, “We've got to give it back.”

Paul said, “Finders keepers. He put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.”

The next day, a police car with two police officers were canvassing the neighbourhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door.

An officer asked,

“Pardon me. Did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armoured car yesterday?”

Paul said, “No.”

Kathy said, “He's lying. He hid it up in the attic.”

Paul said, “Don't believe her, she’s just getting senile.”

The agents turned to Kathy and began to question her.

One said,

“Tell us the story from the beginning.”

Kathy said,

“Well, when Paul and I were walking home from school yesterday ...”

The first police officer turned to his partner and said,
“Let’s go.”...............

[Keith at Tregenna]

I made my wife a Caesar salad last night......

The dog was really pissed off though, it was his last tin!!..