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Thread: Just joking

  1. #1
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    Default Just joking

    Vernon works hard at the Phone Company but spends
    two nights each week bowling and plays golf every
    Saturday.



    His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard,
    so for his birthday she takes him to a local
    strip club.



    The doorman at the club greets them and says,
    "Hey, Vern! How ya doing?"

    His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to
    this club before.



    "Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league..."

    When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern
    if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.



    His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable
    and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

    "Oh, she's the waitress from the golf club
    I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

    A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her
    arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all
    over him and says...
    "Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

    Vern's wife, now furious,
    grabs her purse and
    storms out of the club.

    Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab.
    Before she can slam the door, he jumps in
    beside her.

    Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper
    must have mistaken him for someone else,
    but his wife is having none of it.

    She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs,
    calling him every 4 letter word in the book..

    The cabby turns around and says,

    'Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.'


    VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE FRIDAY AT 2:00 PM



    Thankfully not the same one.
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

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    Default Re: Just joking

    Vernon is now compromised and is trying to keep his wife from getting on the merchant navy net . Did he split on you and your friend Helen in Kapstaad John ? JS
    R575129

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Just joking

    Oh i loved that one John! Her Indoors laughed so much too, and said that will be like you (Me that is ) in your Hey Days ! LOL
    Cheers
    Last edited by Doc Vernon; 3rd August 2021 at 08:33 PM.
    Senior Site Moderator-Member and Friend of this Website

    R697530

  4. #4
    Keith at Tregenna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just joking

    Old Marko was in a gym one day pumping his muscles but he was continuously distracted by a hot chick who was equally exercising in the gym. Marko decided to call the trainer aside and asked him a question: Marko: I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use? TRAINER: use the ATM machine.

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    Default Re: Just joking

    Hi John.
    That's like all your chickens coming home to roost.
    R510868
    Lest We Forget

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    Default Re: Just joking

    Quote Originally Posted by Des Taff Jenkins View Post
    Hi John.
    That's like all your chickens coming home to roost.
    Des, just hope they do not start to lay.
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

  7. #7
    Keith at Tregenna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just joking

    An 84-year-old lady is waiting for her husband in Weatherspoons. Suddenly a handsome man enters and sits down a few seats away.

    The man is so attractive that she just can't take her eyes off him.

    After a short while, the man notices her staring, and approaches her.

    Before the lady has time to apologise, the man looks her deep in the eyes and says to her in a sultry tone, "I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want £100, and there's another condition."

    Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the lady asks him what his condition is.

    "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

    The lady takes a moment to consider the offer from the handsome man.

    She whips out her handbag and puts £100 into his hand.

    She then looks him square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly,

    "Paint my house."

    Our needs change as we get older, we get smarter and tend to look for bargains.

  8. Likes John Arton, N/A, Denis O'Shea liked this post

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