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Thread: Green cars

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    Default Green cars

    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

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    Default Re: Green cars

    Well that solves one problem for me as was planning to buy the wife a new car next month for her birthday, so I could use. When I tell her to choose a colour I will say green is out in case they give us an electric one run off torch batteries and suitable only for Noddy . I don’t like red as they did a survey and there were more accidents with that colour than any other. So will plump for white using the old saying Red and green should never be seen without a colour in between. And back that up with the colours of the British Merchant Navy. Now I’ve got to sell that to the wife . She may use the argument that white is not a colour , so will have to think up a suitable reply. If I say it is better than black , which is another non colour , I will probably have the race relations people after me. It gets very difficult at times to communicate in the Queens English. JS.
    Last edited by j.sabourn; 9th May 2021 at 11:51 AM.
    R575129

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    Default Re: Green cars

    Quote Originally Posted by j.sabourn View Post
    I will probably have the race relations people after me. It gets very difficult at times to communicate in the Queens English. JS.


    1 1 CAR.jpg
    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

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    Default Re: Green cars

    A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.

    Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
    Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

    The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

    "Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

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    Default Re: Green cars

    A driver is pulled over by a police officer, who notices a large number of knives on the back seat. "Sir , do you have a good reason for needing all those large knives?" he asks. Smiling the driver says, " Why yes, I juggle them. With your permission I'd be more than glad to give you a demonstration." As the knives go high into the air, the police officer watches, mesmerized. Two elderly men then happen to drive by and both gaze in astonishment.
    "Gees, Lou, I'm sure glad I gave up drinking, these sobriety tests are getting ridiculous.


    Des
    Lest We Forget

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    Default Re: Green cars

    One for the road, policeman pulls car over and asks the driver an elderly gentleman why he was driving so slowly I've had a few drinks at the lodge says the man the policeman thinking he was a fellow mason asks how much he has to go to get home just a few hundred yards I was nearly there when you stopped me, policeman tells him go and would follow behind to get him there, after parking in the drive the officer wishes him good night and asks which lodge he had been to YATES'S LODGE said the old fellah good night and thanks for your help. Den

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    Default Re: Green cars

    Brings back memories. Is Yates Lodge still in Liverpool?

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    Default Re: Green cars

    A hipster goes to an antique market where he spots a cool looking brass lamp. It's only 20, so he buys and takes it home.

    He spots a black mark on the side so he gets out the brass polish and rubs it to remove the mark. There's a flash and this giant Middle Eastern dude appears in his lounge. "I am the genie of the lamp, I shall grant you 3 wishes." The hero of our story is quite surprised and can't think of a good wish on the spot. Then suddenly he has it. "I hate flying and planes are destroying the environment, but my grandma lives in Australia. I wish for you to build me a road to Oz so I can drive my electric car, and visit her whenever I like." The genie is visibly not happy "Have you any idea of the size of undertaking you are asking for? I'll have to lay concrete piles and massive columns all along the route it will have to be taller than the largest wave. The materials, planning, shipping disruption and cost would run in to billions of dollars and take about 10 million man-hours. The magical expenditure could possibly kill me!" The hipster is sympathetic. "So I should pick some other wish. Okay, instead I want to truly understand woman, all their different moods, impulses and their own brand of female logic." The genie says "So on this road, will four lanes be enough and a charging station every 20 miles?"
    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

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