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Thread: Thailand

  1. #1
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    Default Thailand

    Freddy went to Thailand for a break, it had been a hard year and he was in need of some R&R.

    Booked into the hotel and unpacking his suitcase when a knock on the door.

    Standing there in a perfect uniform a young man who said, sir I am your room attendant.

    My name is Young Bumsuck, my father is Bumsuck and my grandfather Old Bumsuck, I come from a long line of Bumsuckers.

    If you need assistance when out in town at night you call for Young Bumsuck.

    Two nights later poor Freddy is worse for wear, the grog has got to him and he is not sure where the hotel is.

    The he remembers what Young Bumsuck told him.

    Goes into the first bar and tells the barman he wants young Bumsuck, he is told in no uncertain manner to get out.

    Down the road into a second bar and again asks for Bumsuck.

    Over in the corner says the barman.
    Freddy looks and in his drunken voice says he is old Bumsuck I want young Bumsuck, can no one find me a young Bumsuck.

    He now regrets asking as the prison cell is very cold.
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

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    Default Re: Thailand

    They are back! Those wonderful church bulletins!
    Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services.

    The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.
    Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
    The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water". The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus".
    Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
    Don’t let worry kill you off. Let the Church help.
    Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again “giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
    For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
    Next Thursday there will be a try out for the choir. They will need all the help that they can get. Irving Benson and Jesse Carter were married on October 24 in this church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
    A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “what is hell”? Come early and listen to our choir practice.
    8 new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some old ones.
    Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
    The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
    Pot luck supper at 5 pm – prayer and medication to follow.
    The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
    This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn singing in the park across the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
    The Pastor would appreciate it, if the ladies of the congregation will lend him the electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
    Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 pm. Please use the back door.
    Weight watchers will meet at 7 pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
    The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday “I upped my pledge. Up yours"



    The makers of latex rubber gloves have now got one that degrades within a few weeks, not like the current ones that can take a year or so.

    Same company also makes Condoms.
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

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  4. #3
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    Default Re: Thailand

    Strange.

    Any punch lines ?

    K.
    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

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    Default Re: Thailand

    Careful Keith you'll get in trouble! LOL

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    Default Re: Thailand

    Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.



    I t’s weird being the same age as old people.



    W hen I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected!

    C hocolate is God’s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.

    I t’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.

    N ever sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing!

    D uring the middle ages they celebrated the end of the plague with wine and orgies. Does anyone know if there is anything planned when this one ends?



    I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my legs through my underwear without losing my balance.

    W e can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to, ‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’

    I f you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

    I ’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.

    Coronacoaster ( noun): the ups and downs of a pandemic. One day you’re loving your bubble, doing workouts, baking cranberry bread and going for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like.

    D on’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.

    I ’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.

    I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.

    A t what point can we just start using 2020 as profanity? As in: “That’s a load of 2020.” or “What in the 2020.” or “abso-2020-lutely.”

    Y ou don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.

    W e all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information In our heads.

    That's my story and and I'm sticking to it.
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

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