Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: An oldie, but a goodie....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Wales
    Posts
    19,303
    Thanks (Given)
    5798
    Thanks (Received)
    8957
    Likes (Given)
    6372
    Likes (Received)
    14059

    Default An oldie, but a goodie....

    An oldie, but a goodie....


    A 76 year old man is having a drink in a bar.

    Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so attractive that he just can’t take his eyes off her.

    After a short while the girl notices him staring, and approaches him. Before the man has time to apologise, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone: “I’ll do anything you’d like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn’t matter how extreme or unusual it is, I’m game. I want £200, and there’s another condition”.

    Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is.

    “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”

    The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman.

    He whips out his wallet and puts 20 £10 notes in her outstretched hand.

    He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly:

    “Paint my house.”
    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

  2. Thanks Ken Trehearne, Doc Vernon thanked for this post
  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Wales
    Posts
    19,303
    Thanks (Given)
    5798
    Thanks (Received)
    8957
    Likes (Given)
    6372
    Likes (Received)
    14059

    Default Re: An oldie, but a goodie....

    A guy walks into a bar....sits down, orders a beer, and is watching the 5 o’clock news: footage of a guy about to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Bartender says “I bet you $100 he does it.” Guy takes the bet, and not long after has to pay up...

    A few minutes later, bartender comes back. “I’m sorry man, I can’t take your money. I won’t lie, I saw this guy on the noon news, I knew he was gonna jump.” Customer replies “No, no, you won it fair and square. I saw the noon news too, but It looked so rough I never thought he’d do it twice!!”
    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

  4. Likes Graham Payne liked this post
  5. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Blue Mountains NSW
    Posts
    19,905
    Thanks (Given)
    28171
    Thanks (Received)
    9967
    Likes (Given)
    34159
    Likes (Received)
    24125

    Default Re: An oldie, but a goodie....

    Quote Originally Posted by Keith at Tregenna View Post
    An oldie, but a goodie....



    “Paint my house.”

    Oh what a let down ! Expected something exciting! LOL
    Dont tell that to a Seaman he will Cry!!
    Last edited by Doc Vernon; 16th October 2020 at 04:35 AM.
    Senior Member and Friend of this Website

    R697530

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Wales
    Posts
    19,303
    Thanks (Given)
    5798
    Thanks (Received)
    8957
    Likes (Given)
    6372
    Likes (Received)
    14059

    Default Re: An oldie, but a goodie....

    An Englishman was flying across the Pacific on Delta/Northwest and decided he had to go to the bathroom. So he got up and started walking down the aisle, but just as he passed the plane door it malfunctioned, opened and he was sucked out.

    Miraculously he survived landing in the water and saw a tropical island nearby. He swam to it, certain that he would soon be rescued. However, fifteen years passed and no one came to his rescue. Fortunately there was a spring on the island and he survived on coconuts and fish.

    Finally one day, as he was drawing sand pictures at the beach, he sees a woman in a trim-fitting scuba outfit emerge from the ocean. She is beautiful! She says, "Are you Fred Quimby?" He says, "Why yes I am."

    "Congratulations, I am from Rescue Inc., and we have been attempting to find you since you were lost. Now tell me, how long has it been since you've had a smoke?"

    "Well, of course it's been about 15 years."

    So she reaches down the front of her wet-suit on the left side and pulls out a package of Players cigarettes. "How in the world did you know that my favorite brand was Players?"

    "We have researched all of your preferences very carefully Fred, we want to do a good job."

    So as Fred is taking a deep, satisfying drag on his cigarette, the rescuer says, "And how long has it been since you've had a drink?"

    "Well, that's fifteen years too." And so she reaches down inside the wetsuit on the other side and pulls out a bottle of Jack Daniels.

    "How did you know that Jack Daniels was my favorite drink?"

    "Well, Fred, as I said we have looked into all of those things too, do you mind if I have a drink too?"

    "No, of course not." And they both put a couple away.

    Then, as she starts to peel off the wet suit she says, "And tell me Fred, how long has it been since you've played around?"

    "Don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there!"
    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

  7. Thanks Doc Vernon thanked for this post
    Likes Tony Taylor liked this post

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •