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Thread: Neologisms

  1. #1
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    Default Neologisms

    Once again the Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest.in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

    The winners are;
    COFFEE. ( n)
    The person upon whom one coughs.
    FLABBERGASTED adj.)
    Appalled over how much weight you have gained.
    ABDICATE ( v )
    To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
    ESPLANADE ( v)
    To attempt to explain while drunk.
    WILLY - NILLY. ( adj.)
    Impotent.
    NEGLIGENT ( adj.)
    Describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
    LYMPH. ( v)
    To walk with a lisp.
    GARGOYLE. ( n)
    Olive flavoured mouthwash.
    FLATULENCE (n)
    Emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
    BALDERDASH ( n)
    A rapidly receding hairline.
    TESTICLE (n)
    A humerous question in an exam.
    RECTITUDE ( n)
    The formal , dignified bearing adopted by proctologists
    POK…MON (n)
    A Rastafarian proctologist
    OYSTER. ( n)
    A person who sprinkles his conservation with Yiddishisms.
    FRISBEETARIANISM (n)
    ( back by popular demand) The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
    CIRCUMVENT ( n)
    An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

    The Washington Posts Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary . Alter it by adding, subtracting , or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
    The winners areó-
    BOZONE (n)
    The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating . The bozone layer, unfortunately , shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
    CASTRATION (n)
    The act of buying a house , which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
    SARCHASM (n)
    The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesnít get it.
    INOCULATTE (v)
    To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
    OSTEOPORNOSIS (n)
    A degenerate disease . ( this only got one credit)
    KARMAGEDDON ( n)
    Itís like when everybody is sending off all these Really bad vibes , right ? And then, like , the Earth explodes and itís like a serious bummer.
    GLIBIDO ( v)
    All talk and no action
    ARACHNOLEPTIC FIT (n)
    The frantic dance performed just after youíve accidentally walked through a spiders web.
    CATERPALLOR (n)
    The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit your eating..

    And the pick of the literature.
    IGNORANUS ( n)
    A person whoís both stupid and an asshole .

    JS

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    Default Re: Neologisms

    You could also have
    CATAPALLOR - Colour of the facility engineers face when we found half a cat in a water storage tank at a famous London hospital (no sign of Dick).

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Neologisms

    Confucius Say: It's OK to let a fool kiss you; but don't let a kiss fool you.

    Confucius Say: A kiss is just shopping upstairs for downstairs merchandise.

    Confucius Say: It is better to lose a lover than love a loser.

    Confucius Say: Man with a broken condom is called a Daddy.

    Confucius Say: Man who mix Viagra and Ex-Lax doesnít know if he's coming or going.

    Confucius Say: A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

    Confucius Say: Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, and you lose interest.

    Confucius Say: Viagra is like Disneyland ... a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

    Confucius Say: It is much better to want the mate you do not have than to have the mate you do not want.

    Confucius Say: A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don't get it.
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

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    Default Re: Neologisms

    Appreciated but do not think Confucius fits in apart from in very ancient way possibly, to what represents the now more evolving nature of the English language ? EG: most up to date, Staycation: A vacation at home or in the immediate local area.

    K.
    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

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