Ear ear

[happy daze john in oz]

FALLING DOWN

NO PROBLEM

It was last Thursday afternoon, had been on site and wasfeeling quite good.

I went to stand up and,

The room was hounding harder as the ceiling drew away, but Ihad not called out for another drink, so there no was waiter with a tray. So itwas much later as I crawled across the floor, that my face within the mirrorwas a ghostly shade of pale.

I could not stand, I was all over the place and not a drophad passed my lips since the night before. Somehow with the help of the walls and furniture I made it into thekitchen and took a glass of water. My body and head felt totally disconnectedwhat was occurring?

Low blood pressure was my first thought having suffered abit of it some years previous, six spoons of sugar in half a glass of waterfollowed by a glass of cola. Enough sugar in that to kill a Brown Dog.Staggered into the family room and fell into the chair. After some ten minutesno difference, not low blood sugar and now I feel like talking with Huey!!!!!

So what can it be, do the F.A.S.T. test, no not a stroke, nochest pains so not a heart attack. Think man; think what else can it be. Thenas I attempted to stand again it hit me, almost the back of the chair, as Itook another stumble, it is an ear infection.

Balance is in the ear so that is where the problem lies, buthow to fix it is the problem. After a further ten minutes I begin to feel alittle better, manage to stand and walk a few paces, maybe I am gettingbetter! Sit for another while but knowit will not go away, nothing for it but an emergency trip to see my GP. He isaway on a conference so if I go who knows who I will get to see.

I tell the boss what I intend to do,
‘Do you want me to drive you’???

Like all full-blooded men who think like the invincibles Isay no. Not a good decision as itturned out.

Somehow I make t out to the garage and get into her car,much easier than taking mine. Sitting down, fine, so I get to the surgery only2.8 kilometres away. With some careful staggering I made it inside the door andjust about collapsed. The lady behind the desk came out with that greatAustralian greeting,
‘You right there’?

If I was right this is the last place I would be, no I amnot right I need some assistance! There was a wheelchair by the desk into whichI managed to get my body. Having explained my predicament she agreed to wheelme to the examination room so the doctor could examine me. As she wheeled mealong we passed by the waiting room where half a dozen patients waited, shouldI wave as we passed by? No I am not the Queen, though I have in my time workedwith a number of them.
The doctor arrives, a very jolly gentleman from SriPakindia, or similar and asks me a number of questions before saying you mayhave vertigo.

No I tell him, I live just up the road.

He then tells me he is going to conduct some ‘funny’ tests,a brief flash of life past and funny things, but no these are some simple testssuch as stick your tongue out, watch my hand as it goes by! Lie on the bed, nofunny business if you do not mind! More silly tests, sit up, lie down, doesthat make you feel giddy?

He then goes on to explain that I have had an ear infection,which has left some debris in the canal. I assume he means the canal in myears, as there is no canal around here.
He also informs me there is enough wax in my ears to buildthe Taj Mahal.
So I am prescribed tablets for the vertigo, and eardrops forthe ears. Come back next week and I will syringe your ears out!

Off to the chemist, who thankfully is open until 2100 hours,it is now just gone 1900 hours. I hand over the script and wait. The pharmacistthen begins to explain what I need to do, big mistake for him.

‘These tablets will stop the vertigo so take one tabletthree times a day’

“Three times a day for one tablet, then I will need a pieceof string”
He looks at me with that blank stare, the type when there isno logical answer to what you have just heard.

‘Maybe I should say take a tablet three times a day, adifferent tablet each time’.
Makes sense to me now.

“ Now when you say three times a day is that every eighthours, or three times during the awake hours”?

‘Three times a day as you will be asleep at night and unlessyou want to get up in the middle of the night to take one then during wakinghours. How about breakfast, lunch and dinner’?

“Is that an offer’ I ask. He is lost for words

Now to the drops, four in each ear at night.

‘At night, is that before I go to bed’?

‘Just read the instructions very carefully before taking anyof either prescription and if you have problems come back during the day whenthe regular staff are on duty, I am sure they can assist you, good night”

Obviously this guy wants me gone, so off I go in the dark toget home.

“Where have you been, I have been here frantic not knowingwhere you are’

“Told you I went to the doctors”

“But you did not take your phone, how am I supposed to knowhow you are or where you are”?
I wonder how the spare bed is these days, might need ittonight!

Another outburst about how thoughtless I am by not takingthe phone!

“Are you hungry, I could do you some toast”
Thought I just had that.

Wednesday early morning back to the doctor for the syringe.It is no exaggeration to say they use smaller ones on horses; this bloody thinglooks more like a fireman’s hose than a syringe. In it goes and whoosh, justlike the Aswan dam bursting, enough gunk to sink a battleship.

Why now is every one shouting?

[John Pruden]

john as we get on a bit{well you lads do im still a kid} the hair on your head moves down to you ears try a short back and sides to the lugholes?hehehe.jp

[j.sabourn]

#1. John I suffer from the same complaint, ear wax, went for hearing test as wife always complaining about the volume being too loud. Tester said I needed hearing aids which were supplied free gratis via the government ( doubt they will be free in the future) Wife complaining now about screeching noise coming from my ear area. Back twice to see the specialists in hearing aids, say I must have wax in ears again, back to the doctor buckets of ear wax remover poured into ears at 15 dollars a bottle. Back to see the nurse with your big syringe back to see the ear specialist as the wife still complaining about the screeching noise coming from my ears, interfering with her favourite TV programmes. Now had to have special moulds made to fit in the ear for aids, pick up in two weeks time. That is if the wax God hasnt got back into the ears. They used to say worse things happen at sea, wish I was back there at times. Then people say do you not get bored doing nothing, little do they know. If I can get a make up artist to make me look 20 years younger might still get the job I am going to talk to some one into given. Dont think this shore life agrees with me, have been retired now 12 years and just getting older and older. Never happened at sea. If these ear moulds dont work am going to get an ear trumpet and just talk to people I want to Cheers best regards to your lugs. John S.

[John Pruden]

john that reminds me of an old fella years ago in my drinking days I would stand next to him and whistle just one note he would play with the volume on his hearing aid he never court onto it cruel I know but the barmaid could not keep a strait face? jp

[Richard Quartermaine]

Burglar to bumbling assistant. "get up that drainpipe!" - _"OOOOOOHHHHH!! My eeeears!" - "The outside you fool!"
Recently there was a report that people can safely syringe their own ear'oles. The chemists soon had the little plastic bulb with a nozzle on the shelves for less than ten bucks so I bought one. Fill the bulb with warm water, poke the nozzle (gently) into the south pointing lug hole, squeeze the bulb and, "Turn that ****** TV down!!"
Of course, if you wish to retain your selective hearing don't let anyone see you.
Richard

[gray_marian]

#1, See John, I knew you were poorly

Now here's the quandary, when I notice one or two of the lads are missing I sometimes send a wee pm. However wondering if there is a better way to inquire about their well being without intruding on their privacy. Perhaps a tick box to moderator saying they are having a rest....Especially for those living alone.......Any suggestions. Or leave it as it is?

[John Pruden]

marian when you are put on the resting list normally means you have got the boot of a site? but that's another story???jp

[happy daze john in oz]

#1, See John, I knew you were poorly

Now here's the quandary, when I notice one or two of the lads are missing I sometimes send a wee pm. However wondering if there is a better way to inquire about their well being without intruding on their privacy. Perhaps a tick box to moderator saying they are having a rest....Especially for those living alone.......Any suggestions. Or leave it as it is?

Marian thank you for your concern, I am OK now until the next wax works episode no doubt. But my chemist informs me he has had 20 or so in with the same complaint, nasty virus going around!!

[Des Taff Jenkins]

Hi Marion.
I just posted asking if anyone had heard from Alf Corbin haven't seen any posts lately.
Cheers Des

[Des Taff Jenkins]

HI John and John.
I had to have hearing aids in both ears a couple of ears! ha ha, ago, had to go back three times to have them adjusted to stop the squeeling. last time he took them and snapped the little fine plastic string that helps hold it in your ear, saying you don't need these anymore, now I go around with one or the other hanging out my ear and they are so light that I don't know it, I have people saying you got something hanging out your ear, I am so glad when I find it's my hearing aid.
As for cleaning out the wax I don't get any, but there is a new thing on the market a small bulb with a short tube that you shove in your ear and it SUCKS the wax out, I'm asking what happens if more than wax comes out.
Cheers Des

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