The missing link

[happy daze john in oz]

Here in Oz our DSS is known as Centerlink, but loving refered to as the Missing link, a far more suitable name.
Once a year I am required to lodge with them a summary of my superannuation funds in order that I may recieve a part state pension. It is a simple task to take the form in and lodge it, but things change over 12 months.

Entering I noticed the place had been re-arranged and the front desk is no longer permanentley manned, or is the womaned, political correctness you know. The front desk is no longer permanentley person filled.

Now the senior person gets from her desk, where she is dealing with a client, comes to the front desk and asks why you are there? Why am I here, a good question, as no one in their right mind would enter these portals of their own velition.
I am here to lodge these papers as I am required.

She made a few quick notes on her I pad and informed me that this was only a three minute task so I would be put on the express listing. Please take a seat she informed me.


There were many in there, some very sorry sights who will never be of use to society. As I sat there I observed this lady get from her desk on a dozen occasions to greet and deal with new customers, her client may well have wondered what he had done to suffer such treatment.


After waiting some 45 minutes I approached her and asked how much longer as she had put me on the express list. Maye 30 minutes or so she informed me. 30 minutes, if I had know it was to take this long I would have brought a cut lunch with me.
Can I lodge these forms on line as I can with others?
No sorry but these must be handed in, but to save you waiting any longer I can provide you with a pre-paid enevlope and you can post them to the central office!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I left there in the total belief that being braindead was not a prerequisite to be employed by the Missing Link, but most certainly an advantage.

[Louis the Amigo]

Hi shipmates, Hi happy john in oz, How come you still have offices with real people? Our job centres' are closed or cut back to the bone, Everything is done online, if you cant use a computor or dont have one your in trouble, every thing is done by appointment, if you walk into any job centre the big guys in uniform will stop you and question you !!! What do you want? do you have an appointment show me your letter /card, if you pass muster? sit over there, or leave the office now,you not allowed to look at the jobs on the board or on the screens unless you are a client . I was told all this by a mate of my son who was called in for job interview {how can young people find work } ???? you can wait for hours to see anyone for help due to cut backs now very few staff,who can help .

[happy daze john in oz]

Well Louis, they look like real people, speak like real people, but somehow I have my doubts, maybe clones who knows these days with the govs we all have.

[Lou Barron]

In NZ i hate ringing up the insurance company or other companies because its mostly a foreign voice that you get and to me being depending on my hearing aid it makes it hard to understand

[Keith Tindell]

Same here Lou, and even worse sometime you get a broad Geordie !!! Kt