going away for xmas

[colin twine]

it,s to cold here so my wife and i are going to benidorm for 4 weeks flights apartment and a car less than £1000 free entertainment and a good deal warmer cheers clancy

[Captain Kong]

Bring us a stick of Rock back Clancy.
and a Happy Christmas to you and your wife, also the lad, is he going to? Couldnt get to see you this year I was in Hospital.
See you next time.
Cheers
Brian.

[happy daze john in oz]

Bring us a stick of Rock back Clancy.
and a Happy Christmas to you and your wife, also the lad, is he going to? Couldnt get to see you this year I was in Hospital.
See you next time.
Cheers
Brian.

There was a time not long ago when prisoners here in Oz got a stick of rock, a big stick. They then were given a big hammer and made to turn it into little sticks of rock.

[Tony Morcom]

That's it, next year I am definitely going away for Christmas. I don't care where but I am not going through all this pre-Christmas fiasco again. Her in doors, who has been more or less stuck in bed for three months now suggested on Saturday that I take my nine year old Xmas shopping. Three hours of that and I am never doing it again!!! Talk about a bitch in training ~ she is turning into an expert especially where shopping is concerned.
Sunday the wife wanted the decorations put up. Outside ones were no problem because at the moment she has not been able to get out and criticise them. That will come tomorrow night when we attempt to get her to see my daughter's school play. Maybe I'll just switch them off and she won't be able to see them (I blame the fuse) The tree, usually her domain, nearly caused an instant divorce. By the time I had untangled the lights she lovingly put away, and then found that they weren't working, I was not in the best of moods. Got them working and on the tree along with all the decorations and then I heard the stair-lift!! "You've used the wrong lights!, the balls don't go on that way. Shouldn't the tree be on a stand?" By then I wasn't listening and had disappeared for a well earned cigarette while she discussed my disaster with her daughter. Three hours later, a different set of lights, which look the same to me, the balls in the required order plus the tree on a stand and semi peace was restored ~ I wasn't even talking to her by then

This morning, in my misguided infinite wisdom, I decided that maybe I had better attempt to make a Xmas cake, something that she always does but for obvious reasons can't now. I have never made a cake in my life. I can just about manage a roast, cottage pie etc but anything resembling a pudding or cake normally comes from a packet or tin! I got out all the ingredients from their various hiding places. Women really don't have a clue when it comes to storing things ~ surely all the baking stuff should be in one cupboard not spread between every bloody cupboard in the kitchen. Anyway I followed the instructions carefully after reading that it didn't matter too much that a) I hadn't started the cake weeks ago and b) that I should leave the bloody dried fruit to soak overnight. If I did that I knew that by tomorrow the impetus would be gone. Mixed it all up to what looks like something out of a nappy and put it in the tin which had been carefully lined as per instructions. Whoops, it didn't fit ~ the stupid tin is only 7" and the mix is for an 8" tin. Now what bloody fool came up with a seven inch tin design when the recipe is for 8"!!! Oh well, what didn't fit was left on the side ( half an hour later to be stuck into by one of the cats who will now be well and truly pissed with the amount of brandy I put in) Cleaned up the edges and put it on the required double layer of newspaper and in the oven it went. Ten minutes later the kitchen was spotless again and time to take her up a cup of coffee ~ and that's when the spanish inquisition began, and that's when I decided not only do I bloody hate Xmas but next year I am not going through it all again, some other bugger can do it all while I sit there and get merrily p***ed!

[Keith Tindell]

Best idea Tony, i dislike Christmas, we are led in to it by all the hype. After a xmas some years ago, all the family together, which ended up in a big argument, my wife and myself decided never again. So now our Xmas shopping consists of 5 bottles of wine and a bottle of gin, fling it into the boot of the car, and disappear to a pub for 4 days. When you deduct the price of all the crudd you have to buy for xmas at home , its cheap. This year Shaftsbury pub here we come KT

[Captain Kong]

Bring us a stick of Rock back Clancy.
.
. Hi John ,
It was a traditional saying when someone was going to Blackpool that you always said, `Bring us back a stick of Rock` A stick of Blackpool Rock was the nearest we ever got to Blackpool when we were kids.
George Formby made a good record of `My Little Stick of Blackpool Rock`, with its double meanings of course that George was famous for.
Cheers
Brian.

[john walker]

Thanks to the M.N.O.P.F. (A small lump sum from my pension) I fly out to Hong Kong tomorrow for a few days then onto Thailand for Xmas, from boxing day untill at least the 2/1/2013 I will be in Vietnam, if I like Vietnam I will stay an extra 2 weeks if not I will probably go on to cambodia or Laos. Then back to Bangkok and on to Hong Kong to return to the U.K. For the bleak prospect of a return to work on the 20th. January. So to all those who like a warm beer in a cold climate and to those who prefer a cold beer in a warm climate seasonal greetings to you and your families.

[Graham Payne]

Go for it Clancey

I'm sure if a alien from space arrived on Christmas Day he would think we only ate once a year

Warm sunshine versus Snow & Ice, no contest, I don't think I had a full winter whilst in the "Merch" a few cold days maybe but it was
Home Trade in the summer and Deep Sea from October. " Ahh" Perfect.

[Captain Kong]

Clancy, why are you taking the wife??????????????????????????????
send her to Blackpool and you go to Benidorm.
Cheers
Brian.

[happy daze john in oz]

Christmas, that wonderful time of the year that brings out all that man would desire not be seen or heard. Christmas day, the one day of the year when the police spend thier time attending family disputes that turn realy nasty. More family members murdered on Christmas day than any other day of the year.
Christmas, a time for giving and recieving gifts that are neirther useful or ornimental. See the queues in the department store Boxing day when they take back gifts to get the money.
So do what so many do now, go out for Christmas lunch, choose who you want to go with you and you will have a good day.
Me and her indoors will be in the casino having lunch and having a good time with no worries.