landlubbers

[Rocky]

A friends lad asked me what it was i did at sea so gave a brief description about life as an ab when i asked him why he said he wanted to do the same thing and was going to apply for the royal navy out on deck but reading the booklets noticed you get extra cash on subs so said he would do it there just wondering how long he can hold his breath for

Our future is in the hands of these guys

[happy daze john in oz]

.. Two, you move but the hotel does not if it is a crap one.[/QUOTE]

All depends which bar you spend the night in. LOL

[happy daze john in oz]

There is a published list of stupid questions asked by bloods on cruise ships.

Is the water in the toilet bowl fresh?

Do the crew sleep ashore at night?

How does the ship get electricity so far from shore?

What happens to the ice models when they melt?

How do the crew know when to get up in the morning if it is still dark?

These and many other equaly stupid questions are asked just about every day.

[Captain Kong]

I was QM on the old FRANCONIA in 1956, I was on the wheel in the middle of the Western Ocean. steering by magnetic compass. no gyro.
A few passengers were being shown around the wheel house by Captain Donald Murdo McClean DSO.
A man stood in front of the Binnacle by the wheelhouse window. His wife shouted to him, "Get out of the way,
the poor Sailor cannot see where we are going" then she pulled him to one side.
I thanked her and said `I was nearly lost then, I can see now`.
They must have realy believed I was steering visually.
Brian.

[John Arton]

A pal of mine was on one of the smaller passenger ship that cost a bomb to go on. On this cruise they were due to Visit London, actually going up into the Pool of London and they had to anchor off Southend awaiting the tide.
After an hour or so an irate american came onto the bridge (passengers were allowed on the bridge at all times in this outfit) demanding to know why the ship was not moving. Explaining that they were waiting for the tide was not good enough for the pasenger who then started off shouting that there was something wrong with the ship, it was sinking, there were terorists on board, pirates you name it he was saying it. Eventually to calm him down my mate said that as long as he did not pass the info on he would tell him the reason why they were anchored. Our American passenger listened with bated breath as my mate told him:
"At present there were divers down at the bottom of the ship changing the plug for the electrical supply for the ship as the U.K. used different plug sizes to those in other countries and the electric cable from the power station to the ship they had towing behind them would need changing because of this different plug type and that they were doing it at night time so as when the lights went out when they unplugged and plugged in the power cable to the new fitting, all the passengers would be asleep and so would not know about it".
The American guy went off with a smug grin on his face, saying he knew there was something wrong but now he knew the reason he could sleep happily.
Best one I have heard since I was on the Empress boats where we had some amazing stories about telling passengers all sorts of B.S. and they believing it.
Best thing about the above is that the pal who told me it, is German, so who says the Germans have no humour.
rgds
JA

[Kenneth Kenny]

Working down the Lower hold at Harrison ship at the Canada dock in Liverpool in 1978,loading general cargo.The Ships boss Peter Mallan,told us to get up and put the hatch boards on the top deck,cover up.Sent in Steel plates to cover the hatch boards.Then we put four cars in the wings under the Comans.Sent the plates out to the quay,and took the hatch boards off and went back down the lower hold to work cargo.Anyway knocked off to go for our dinner at noon,climbing up the ladder,and Yorkshire wagon driver shouts hay Lad how did you get cars on shelf,that's how Yorkshire people speak.On the deck he said to the gang first time on a big boat,we told him it was a ship,and how we got the cars in the wings,he said no lad It's shelf,said to him please your SHELF.Ken.

[Red Lead Ted]

I lived a stones throw from the Gladstone in 1970 before my family moved a few streets away. I done a 12 month trip on the M.V. EUCADIA {Anchor boat} After paying off i went home knocked on the door only for a stranger to tell me they had moved 3 months ago, Before i went and found out where i was living we had a guy 2 doors away who worked the same years as you did he was in the shore gang T@J Harrison's, It was a pity i never really got the chance to have a conversation with him because of the move, I then went on to join Harrison's and stayed with them for a few years our paths must have crossed at sometime. However always regretted never having a chat with the guy who was a former bosun with Harrison's all i knew was he came from seaforth and his name was John ?. Another guy you may or may not remember Stan Duval, A real mans man bosun, Stan sadly topped himself way back for reasons known only to himself. Me and John Prudens brother Freddy who lived a few doors from me were the only 2 people in the street the day Stan was found by his misses and we both had the task of cutting him down from the ceiling. Did you know either Regards Ken Terry. ....................... p.s before anyone tells me i was an unucky bugger ? I only ever found one wage packet in my life and he had only worked a 2 day week Terry.