m.v. MAGELLAN-World Cruise 2017-Staff Gratuities

[cappy]

#25.. Keith if that had been a few years ago when I smoked, I would have probably thought they were referring to the filter tips off cigarettes. It was considered that tipped ciggies were for women. Most men broke the tip off and discarded and would probably have been in the box marked tips. They would have been better of marking gratuities if anyone could spell it. There again some would of written thanks on a slip of paper and shoved in box. I will say however when I worked as an errand boy I made a card out for all customers wishing them a Merry Xmas, and got quite sizeable cash returns, but nothing as crude as tips. Physcology learned at an early age. JWS

###an old lady on my paper round ...84 morning papers ...said she would give me sixpence on a saturday if i whistled outside her door each morning ......she was a lovely old dear ....some mornings i was late and whistled so fast i couldnt make out what tune it was myself ...her favourite was ...there is a greenhill far away ....well try whistling that when you in a hurry....go on try it .....see what i mean .......cappy

[Gulliver]

One (of many !) regrets in my brief life is not being able to whistle.I've spent countless hours pursing those lips and blowing this way and that but it's always ended up with not one little trill emanating from my cakehole-just an alarming spraying which fizzles out into a disgustingly -sounding wet farting noise.No wonder I couldn't get the girls when I tried whistling at them......

Come to think of it,I'm not much of a 'real'sailor I suppose- I can't whistle (although you shouldn't do that anyway in case you 'whistle up a wind'; I can't drink more than three pints without either opening my mouth and climbing in with both feet or falling flat on my face;I haven't the co-ordination to play snooker-it's a load of balls anyway;I can't swim, well not without waterwings-another reason perhaps why I never got the girls at the beach swimming pool,although I've never thought not being able to swim much of a handicap anyway if you go overboard unseen a thousand miles out in the ocean,it'll only agonisingly prolong your life by five minutes until the sharks arrive;I haven't got the head for climbing 60 feet up the mast to change the steaming light bulb-that's why I became an officer (heh,heh !),although I got sent up it once as a cadet in port , dropped the new bulb whilst climbing up very gingerly at about one inch every five minutes,although to be fair it really slipped out of my dungarees pocket,got a filthy pitying look from the Lecky when I asked him for a new one, then on my second attempt got into an awful tangle when my safety harness got hooked up on a projection(thingy)and nearly got decapitated by a swinging dockside crane driven by a mad Egyptian,the Chief Mate not helping matters by shouting up at me "Smith,get down here for God's sake you bloody tart!" and "Where do you think you are? Daddy's Yacht?". I then found out all he called me down for was to send me down Number Three hold to do cargo watch amongst the most heinous murderous-looking Arab gentlemen you would not wish to meet down a dark dockside alleyway in Alexandria. Life was tough as a cadet.Funny thing is I never ever recall receiving any praise for anything,unless there was a sarcastic addendum to it.

So just for once in my life,please God , before I go down there,let me give just one huge Wolf Whistle Then being a sailor will have all been worthwhile !

[j.sabourn]

#31.. There was one Xmas that the sole money coming into the house was my 12 bob for paper round and if it hadn't of been for the 5 quid or so xmas boxes from the customers would have been an extremely poor Xmas, My old man was laid off with the weather as most outside workers in the building trade were. They don't know they are born today, as immediately go and get help from the relative dole office. Same as Doctors had to be really sick as charged 5 bob a visit. Today most of the mongrels steal just to support a drug habit. And people are sorry for them. As the good bible says God helps those who help themselves, should now be an increment in the good book, saying not to other peoples possessions. JWS

[Ivan Cloherty]

wolf whistling has now been declared a 'hate' crime and you can be arrested for it, in my day wolf whistling was a sign of admiration, I remember my mum coming home once when I was on leave as chuffed as hell because she had been wolf whistled at, she was in her 50's

[j.sabourn]

What sort of idiot Ivan, comes out with laws like that. Wolf whistling a hate crime what utter and stupid person, can only assume such person had the misfortune to be born an imbecile. If we had all been born later we would have police records by now. No wonder the world is going to hell on a roller coaster. The French terrorists attacks are going to only be the start of many others in Europe, and one of the big causes are open borders which everyone knew except the so called elite in Europe. They haven't got the brains they were born with. Thank God the majority of the British public are not living in a fools paradise like some of them and had the temerity according to some to get out and make our own laws and not the twaddle the continentals have come out and pushed on us over the years. Wolf Whistling a hate crime, have heard it all now , suppose it is in character the same as the bent bananas. Cheers JWS

[happy daze john in oz]

John, sorry to tell you mate but the state gov here has come out with the same ruling.

Gulliver, stay indoors, do not drink, listen to good music, do not attempt to climb a ladder, if the light globe needs changing get a sparky or a good neighbor to do it, do not go out in the rain, keep taking the pills and you will be OK.

[j.sabourn]

Gullivers alright he cant whistle. If I'm caught am going to say I was trying to whistle Yankee Doodle dandy. Whose going to mess with Donald Trump. If it was the other one do you think she would go all red and tell her husband who used to whistle among other things after Monica. JWS

[Gulliver]

John, sorry to tell you mate but the state gov here has come out with the same ruling.

Gulliver, stay indoors, do not drink, listen to good music, do not attempt to climb a ladder, if the light globe needs changing get a sparky or a good neighbor to do it, do not go out in the rain, keep taking the pills and you will be OK.

Now why didn't you tell me that when I first joined the site John? I can see I was well conned into joining the 'British' MN Old Nutters Plus ' Club.Egyptian Walk.gif

[j.sabourn]

A letter in this weeks International Express from someone in NZ. Entitled "EU Referendum".
What a wonderful result. 48 hours since I heard the announcement and I am still euphoric.
Two questions arise concerning Remain supporters. Were they so certain of victory that far too many did not vote? Or, with the polls showing a close result did they turn out in force ?It is my opinion that the second question gets " Yes"vote. Places a different perspective on the percentages. 48 per cent of the votes cast, but only 34 per cent of the registered electors were in favour of continuing to be ruled by Brussels. The majority of those were from London, Northern Ireland and Scotland.
The Scots are now talking about calling for another referendum to decide their Independence from to decide their independence from the UK. This is not necessary . The majority prefer Brussels to Westminster.
They can have their independence -NOW!-While waiting for their application to join the EU as an independent nation ( and accept the Euro as their currency), they can create their own currency. The Scottish bawbee would be appropriate.
The Emerald Isle can become united into one nation. No point in discussing the site of the Irish parliament. They will be ruled from Brussels.
Londoners can stop ignoring people from other parts of England but take more notice of their concerns. At last England with Wales is once again , A land of Hope and Glory.

The above is not my words but as some ex pom sees it in N.Z. JWS

[j.sabourn]

#38... He says the state government Gulliver. Don't forget us down here we are all ex boy scouts and well prepared. We have about 5 state parliaments just in case we get short of pollies. If Barnett is going to push that one or has already sneaked in, I'm going to join the maritime Unions next big fracas, and supply them with beer and wimpey bars at the Dock gates. Cheers JWS