Woman Overboard

[Neil Morton]

G'day Les yes mate I know all about the OTT yarns of yesteryear. Had an old shipmate staying here for the grand final. Good job we were not at sea I think I might have dived overboard.

[j.sabourn]

How many times did you see people sitting on the rails., And the old saying Fools Firemen and first trippers. May have been a first tripper and not told not to do. Cheers John Sabourn

[happy daze john in oz]

On the modern cruise ship you could go over the side if yoiu realy wanted to. Easy to climb on to the top rail using the lower rails as ladder rungs, but to fall over accidentaly is something else. The ship would have to be moving around like a mad womans knickers for someone to fall over in that manner. When seas are that rough most of the decks are closed so it would not be easy. So did she jump, was she pushed or just so full of grog she did something stupid?

[Ivan Cloherty]

Welcome home Ivan, now tell us about the young and not so young ladies over there.
Hope the trip was worth it.
I may be going over there next year.
Cheers
Brian

Brian, what can one say, Las Vegas is a city of excesses in everything, gambling, food and women, unfortunately with the latter the gorgeous have been replaced by the not-so-gorgeous, it is a city where "there are more horses arses than there are horses" and it seems the norm, sitting around the pool is an edifying experience, but the conservationists will be pleased to know that the whale population seems to be increasing. What is amazing is that these 6 foot high and 5 foot wide amazons are always accommpanied by skinny little men, where when normal marital pleasures are carried out it must be a case of please ensure your feet are tied to the end of the bed Food portions are enormous everywhere and the food is very very good no matter where you eat and you have to be very strict with yourself not to over indulge. But it is also a city of construction marvels and the size of the new hotels defies descriptions, one hotel has a shopping mall one mile long inside in a "U" shape, even before you reach reception, another has a floor area of seven square miles and another an 18 hole golf course, most have corridors wider than Devon's roads. Was last there two years ago, many hotels have disappeared with new ones in their place and fully operational, it is a city that never ceases to amaze, sometimes crass and sometimes extremely well done.

If you do decide to go then contact me and will endeavour to give some unbiased pointers. One thing to remember is that if two are travelling together never take the hotel-run bus, a taxi is only $10 more (if 3 are travelling together, it's actually cheaper) and much more convenient and quicker.

The Hoover Dam is well worth a vist and if you combine it with a paddle steamer (actually operated by twin screws) trip on Lake Mead, you will, as an ex seaman, pizz yourself laughing at the bullsh-t commentary.

Apparently Sundays and Thursdays are bad days to arrive in Las Vegas where great delays are experienced at immigration on those days

[robpage]

If my memory stretches back without too much distortion , on UCL was there a steward who vanished out of a locked cabin , through the porthole , suspicion was that he had "Help " from some disgruntled "Friends " but the port police in Southampton were clueless , no one thought about pass keys , and assumed that as the cabin was locked it was suicide , Rumour was it had been after HAndbags at dawn , but I was not on the ship at teh time so I never really knew , and evertyone there was pretty tight lipped about it

[Captain Kong]

Hi Ivan ,
I have seen those `Walmart` ladies on cruise ships and in LA and san fran. rolling around the streets.
like an egg on legs. HORRIBLE, their husbands are just there to shovel more food down them, I have seen many young girls who are so FAT that their legs cannot support them and they have to be pushed in wheel chairs to the next food counter. Can you imagine, after going to the toilet, How do they polish their bums??
They must stink `orrible down below.
It can spoil a good vacation, now if their are plenty of Nubile young fit ladies that makes all the difference. A man can dream then.
Cheers
Brian.

[Ivan Cloherty]

Hi Ivan ,
I have seen those `Walmart` ladies on cruise ships and in LA and san fran. rolling around the streets.
like an egg on legs. HORRIBLE, their husbands are just there to shovel more food down them, I have seen many young girls who are so FAT that their legs cannot support them and they have to be pushed in wheel chairs to the next food counter. Can you imagine, after going to the toilet, How do they polish their bums??
They must stink `orrible down below.
It can spoil a good vacation, now if their are plenty of Nubile young fit ladies that makes all the difference. A man can dream then.
Cheers
Brian.

Brian, some things are best not even thought about !!, but you do sometimes wonder how on earth they use aircraft toilet facilities, as I am a Lilliput person and find it requires a certain amount of being a contortionist even for me. Not being able to afford to fly Club Class etc I always plumb paying that bit extra for extra legroom seats and an aisle seat, god forbid you get one of these women on either side of you in a row of 3 or 4. For the guys who haven't been to the States lately these very large ladies seem to be the norm rather than the exception and are considered normal, this extreme obesity is not restricted to the female gender and one sees very attractive girls with very obese young men and you scratch your head and wonder Why! Even the news channels and talk shows over there state that over 60% of Americans are classed as seriously obese, you can see two obese parents walking down the street with a normal size 2 year old and you inwardly feel sorry for that child knowing that its parents are going to shovel food down it because that is what they do to themselves

Fortunately the swimming pool waitresses in their skimpy costumes were proper eye candy and very pleasant with it , so stick to your dreams Brian

[Tony Wilding]

Can honestly say here in Cebu i have never seen so many slim pretty girls, all long haired, many under 5 feet tall, was sitting at my usual evening viewpoint watching the world go by, saw one fat girl , that was in about a 4 hour period, and they seem to eat well here, lots of rice, not many potatoes.

[Pete Leonard (Bruno)]

I can vividly remember my first voyage being given the biggest bollocking I 've ever had for sitting on a rail. The bosun happened to be on the foredeck and caught me being flash. It was then that I heard that old adage about "the only people who sit on rails are fools, farmers and first trippers"I always bore that in mind when I saw passengers sitting on rails to have that snap taken.

[Captain Kong]

Thanks Ivan,
I still dream of the young waitress in Hooters.
No Charge for Dreams.
I was flying back from Miami about five years ago, The back of my seat snapped off, never seen that before, the Stewardess said I couldnt sit there anymore and I had to move back a few seats , in Cattle Class, There two enormously fat people there on the three seater, taking up three seats. there was about six inches left of my seat and the big fat woman was sat on my seat belt. both her and her big fat husband were asleep.
I had to put my hand under her ass to get at my seat belt. This big lump of lard wakes up and actually thought I was molesting her and started screaming, My hand was stuck underneath her due to her weight. I got free and I had to back away , every one waking up and looking at me as though I was a Perv or something. The Stewardess came running up to see what all the screaming was about.
She then had to explain the the lump of lard what was happening, I retreived the seat belt but not quite long enough to go round due to me having to sit with half a cheek on the seat,and the left side of me in the allyway.
A very uncomfortable flight back to Manchester, Nine Hours.
I wrote to the Airline and got a £500 credit note for my next flight with them. I have never used it.
These `people` should pay for two seats when they fly.
Cheers
Brian.