Losing a family member whilst at sea.

[Captain Kong]

Losing a family member whilst at sea.
It happened to me twice.
1975 I was approaching Guam, when my Brother, who was with me , received a telegram, from my sister, `Dad not expected to live.`
We were shocked, When we left home he was fit, strong and healthy, indeed he had just beaten me at Arm Wrestling, he was a champion weight lifter in his time,
The Captain said, `I can only send one of you home, so decide who it will be.`
I wanted to go, also I was married with kids, John was single, 9 years younger than me.
So I had to decide, I sent him home, I said I have known him longer so you go and try and get a few more days with him.
` He flew home but Dad had already gone.
I got another telegram, devastating, He had died.
John returned a week later in Singapore. A very very sad time. Hard to get over it.

In 1990 I was in the wheel house at sea, when the telephone rings, it was my brother, `Mother had died,
` I couldn't get off, being at sea. So Both parents died and I never went to any Funeral, , that was the sad part, unable to say good bye.
It was Dad`s birthday yesterday and Mother`s last week.
so in the cemetery yesterday with flowers for the grave.

Brian.

[John Arton]

Got a phone call from the wife when we were in the gulf of Aden, telling me her father, a person whom I thought of as almost like the father I never really knew as my own dad had died at sea when I was very young, was very ill with cancer and not expected to last much longer. C.P. were very good and we're trying to get me relieved once we reached the discharge port in the gulf but unfortunately he died before we reached port and was buried before I could get home. Still think about him often to this Day
Rgds
J.A.

[Captain Kong]

Also to the above post of mine, My Mother in law died and a year later my Father in law died each time I was away for five months,
I got a very hard time off the wife, each time, "Where were you , when I needed you,"
Just cant win, It is harder being away at those times than being at home
So until two years ago when my eldest brother died, I had Never been to a Funeral of a member of the family.

[Doc Vernon]

Alwats must be hard to Loose someone you love when at Sae ,but most times unfortunately one cannot get leave to go home.
These are terrible days for many ,but that is the nature of ones chosen Career ,its sad bit its life!
My Belated Condolences to anyone who has experienced that type of loss!
I know i lost both Mum and Dad and my Brother,not while at Sea but was away overseas,so know the feeling of the loss.

[happy daze john in oz]

Brian, I lost both mum and dad a bit suddenly.
I was here in Oz they still in UK, did not get the chance to go back.

Mother in law died just a week after the wife had been back to \Ireland to see her, did not go back for funeral.
She was buried on our wedding aniversary

[Michael Jobson]

Presumably you were earning a living, and she was receiving her allotment every month -