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Doc Vernon
25th September 2019, 10:32 PM
Guy goes to get a new Suit made.
After it is completed he has to try ity on in the Tailors Shop/
So out he comes from the changing Room.
The Tailor looks at him and says ,now Sir that is a very good looking Suit ,however to show it off properly and to get the Ldies attention you ust have the correct posture!
Now stand with one Leg a bit bent, Raise your Let Arm a wee bit and put the Right Arm on your Hip. Cock your head to one side and droop slightly so that the Suit sits loosly.
Now walk up and down so i can see.
After doing all this the Tailor says now that just fine,it really puts a light on the Suit Sir.

So he cahnges back into his other clothes,gets the Suit packed and off home he goes well satisfied that the Suit will attarct the Female Sex.

Next Evening he dons his new Suit ,and off the the most expensive Hotel where he knows the Ladies of the Night operate.

Straigt to the Bar that holds all the best Ladies, he strides to the Counter orders a Scotch and Soda,and does his Tailors thing!

He then walks towards the nearest Lady that is staring at him (Oh boy he thinks my luck is already in)

On approaching the Lady he says in a gruff voice "Hello darling are you free"

She looks him up and down,the replies " Yes I am free and I really like that Suit it is a cracker, but my poor Man I cannot take Money for services from a poor cripple" and off she strides!

Poor Beggar! LOL

happy daze john in oz
26th September 2019, 06:39 AM
The local mayor was meeting with a group of war veterans, all who had lost a limb or so.

So my man how did you lose your leg.
In France sir.

Second man, how did you lose your arm.
Greece sir.

The third man he sees had a jacket with no hands showing beyond the cuffs.
Not wanting to be too officious he asked quietly
where di you get that.

Burtons sir and it's going back in the morning.