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vic mcclymont
10th September 2019, 07:00 PM
Five surgeons sitting in a bar discussing the easiest people to operate on.
1st Surgeon, accounts once you open the up all the parts are in numerical order.
2nd Surgeon, No electricians, all parts colour coded.
3rd Surgeon, No. Librarians, all parts in alphabetical order.
4th Surgeon, got to be builders, if any bits left over they don't mind.
They all look at the 5th Surgeon who is deep in thought.
Eventually he looks at the group and replies, sorry in my opinions its got to be Politicians, when you open them up, there are no balls, no heart and no spine, and most importantly the arseholes and heads are interchangeable.
Vic

Des Taff Jenkins
11th September 2019, 01:16 AM
Hi Vic.
If you don't mind I'll join your post.
A young woman brings her fiance home to meet her deeply conservative parents. After dinner the father invites him for a chat in his study. "So what are your plans?' the father begins. "I'm a biblical scholar," he replies. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter"? I will study and God will provide for us." And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves"? "I will concentrate on my studies, and God will provide." "How will you support your children"? "Don't worry sir God will provide."
And so it goes. Later, the mother asks, "How did your chat go?" The father replies. "He's a Labour Voter. He has no job, no plans, and he thinks I'm God."
DEs

happy daze john in oz
11th September 2019, 06:18 AM
A bushie was walking around the paddocks when a Roo with a joey in it's pouch came up to him.

Looked him in the eye and pulled the front of his trousers open.
The to the shock of the Bushie he spoke and said looking into his pants

'Your child is dead'.

Red Lead Ted
11th September 2019, 01:12 PM
A bushie was walking around the paddocks when a Roo with a joey in it's pouch came up to him. John that sounds like a night out in the Caradoc Liverpool . Just ask Graham Payne he paid his subs up in the Caradoc every time he tied up in Liverpool :th_thth5952deef:

Graham Payne
11th September 2019, 02:03 PM
Terry your right again, you must have a bloody tracker on me.
Best of luck mate