Up to date political correctness

[happy daze john in oz]

Expanded Political Correctness

Due to the climate ofpolitical correctness now pervading America

Kentuckians,Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer tothem asAPPALACHIAN-AMERICANS!
And furthermore:HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMENAND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She isnot a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She isnot 'EASY' - She is'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She isnot a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She hasnot 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She doesnot 'NAG' you - She becomes'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She isnot a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is aLOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TOSPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1.He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGEFACILITY.'

2.He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3..He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' – He'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4.He is not 'BALDING' - He is in'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act likea 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIALINVERSION.'

(Loved this one!)

6. It's not his 'CRACK' yousee hanging out of his pants - It's
'TROUSER CLEAVAGE'

[Don Rafferty]

"2.He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'"


.....................or put another way.............aint it a shame it's the black man wots got the rhythm - when it's the white man wot needs it the most.

[Ivan Cloherty]

"2.He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'"


.....................or put another way.............aint it a shame it's the black man wots got the rhythm - when it's the white man wot needs it the most.

Well as a dancer (of sorts) I know so many black men who have no rhythm what so ever, and I ain't seen any black ballroom champions, and lets not say they don't have the opportunity, as a black man is in the position of most powerful man in the world, the leading athletes are black, the leading golfer is black and one of the best F1 drivers we have is black, and believe me you don't have to be black to have rhythm, all the best rock n rollers were Caucasian. Just an observation on another myth.

[Keith at Tregenna]

Worth a look at:

LINK: http://www.merchant-navy.net/forum/g...-nurses-2.html

K.

[Charlie Hannah]

Subject: Yank gets it wrong!




The train was quite crowded, and a U.S. Marine walked the entire
length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well
dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular. '
Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was
under that dog.

'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.'

She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little
dog, tossed it out of the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! This American
should be put in his place!'

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans seem
to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing.

You hold the fork in the wrong hand.

You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road.

And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window'.

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ________________
Politically incorrect humor




I was watching TV last night and an ad came on with one of those little
black African babies covered in flies.

I immediately grabbed the phone and called the number on the screen. I had
to get one.

They seem to work much better than those sticky strips that I hang from the
ceiling.

[Colin Hawken]

#3 Careful Ivan,near the R""""t bit.

[Ivan Cloherty]

#3 Careful Ivan,near the R""""t bit.

Only extolling their virtues Colin!