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9th February 2019, 10:24 PM
An old station hand named Billy was overseeing his mob in a remote pasture in the outback when suddenly a brand new BMW advanced toward him in a cloud of dust.
The driver a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Rayban sun glasses, and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man... if I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?
Billy looks at the young man , who obviously is a yuppie. Then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers... Sure why not ?
The yuppie parks his car whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects to his CingularV3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra high resolution photo.
The yuppie then opens the digital to Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany......
Within seconds he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the date stored . He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected to Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally , he prints out a full colour , 150 page report on his Hi-tech, miniaturised HP later jet printer, turns to Billy and says....You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.
That’s right, well, you’ll be helping yourself to one of me calves, then, since you won itt fair and square, says Billy.
He watches the smartly dressed yuppie select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the man gingerly picks it up and a dstuffs into the boot of his car.
As theyuppie is carefully brushing the dust and hair off his suit, Billy says... Hey if I can tell you exactly what work you do and where you. Come from, will you give me back my calf?
The yuppie thinks about it for a second ,wondering what this wrinkled up dirt encrusted old man could possibly know ! He grins and then says ...OK old fellah , why not? I’m a believer in fair play.
Your a. Politician and you work in Canberra sayst the old timer.
Wow ! That’s correct says the yuppie, but tell me how on earth did you know that ?
No guessing required answered Billy.....you showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used.millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are, and you don’t know anything about working people making a living- or about cows, for that matter. This is a mob of sheep.
Now give me back my dog...
Last edited by j.sabourn; 10th February 2019 at 12:17 AM.
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10th February 2019, 12:34 AM
The above post was put in the jokes section but now appears to be in Memorable movie scenes. .????? JS
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