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Thread: Embarrassing medical exams

  1. #11
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    Default Re: Embarrassing medical exams

    About two years ago my wife had a bit of a turn one Friday night so I called the Ambos.
    After a quick check they decided hospital for a full check up.

    We had been there for a couple of hours when we heard a lot of noise in the emergency department where we were.

    In comes a guy in hand cuffs, in just a pair of underpants, you see them all on a Friday night in emergency, with two police officers.
    He is screaming and carrying on in his ethnic language which many could not fully understand.
    Then suddenly we knew what he was on about, he needed the Loo and as no one was going to take him, so he just stood there in the middle of the floor and let rip.

    Then of course some one had to clean up, one of the nurses suggested the guy but with hand cuffs it is not easy.
    But the police are if anything resourceful.
    Hand cuffs moved from behind back to in front and a mop put in his hands.
    Clean it up said the officer or else.

    At least we got a laugh watching him attempting to clean up.
    In the end they had to send for a cleaner to finish the job.
    He was taken away, to where we never did find out.
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Embarrassing medical exams

    funny I go to an urologist over one of my nads 7 cysts in there they cant operate but getting examined doctor comes behind the curtain with a nurse she has a towel covering her eyes I said to its alright love don't be shy she dropped the towel I said to her you will go home and batter your husband all laughter behind the screen there? true jp

  3. #13
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    Default Re: Embarrassing medical exams

    It reminds me, on the came night a lady from somewhere in central Africa, as black as, came in feeling very unwell.
    She was put in a bed next to my wife.

    Doctor came to see her and said she would have to go for some examinations somewhere in the hospital.
    Off she went and we thought nothing more of it.

    Couple of hours later she comes back and the doctor comes to see her.

    'You are looking so much better now, even your color has come back'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Not sure if he was having a lend of her or just a bit confused.
    Three in the morning can leave you a bit ,like that.
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

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    Default Re: Embarrassing medical exams

    Embarrassing!!!
    Try standing naked in a examination room with 3 young females.one of them filling your bladder via a tube stuck up your todger, another one monitoring a camera stuck up your rear end whilst the third one monitors your bladder filling and emptying. All this to check bladder and prostate function.
    Not nice.
    Rgds
    J.A.

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    Default Re: Embarrassing medical exams

    coming out of a three day coma after chocking to death on the bed after a clot came up as I awoke the consultant is pulling a tube out of my mouth the type you would connect a washing machine in with the first thing I said to my consultant was are you a doctor or a fu...g plumber his answer was you will be ok john we lost you twice last night the padre was at the end of the bed just in case he even smiled ?true jp

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    Default Re: Embarrassing medical exams

    brian I went back 2 years later for the lungs to be cleaned out the tea lady came around in the morning barb is sitting at the end of the bed I was not due for mine for hours she said would you like a cup of tea barb said yes please sugar no thank you then the nurse looked at me would you like tea yes please sugar I said put six in but don't stir it I don't like it to sweet she said your john arn't you you were on cedar ward a couple of years ago? jp

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    Default Re: Embarrassing medical exams

    While on a lightening ship, down in Torbay, a junior eng. caused himself an injury while contorting himself to reach under deck plates in the engine room. He was in real agony with severe lower abdominal pain. Weather was so rough they could not launch Brixham life boat so an RN chopper turns up and lowers a doctor. Doctor in flying kit, trudges up to the hospital and takes off flying helmet, beautiful young female doctor emerges. I can let you guess what the young lad had to say when she examined his nether regions. Turns out he had a twisted testicle and was flown off to hospital with a few ribald comments following him.

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    Default Re: Embarrassing medical exams

    tony I always say to my lads after my funeral if anyone says your dad had some ******** they can say yes 9 of them? I have tried 3 different consultants to get the operation but with my history they will not do it? jp

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    Default Re: Embarrassing medical exams

    Quote Originally Posted by John Pruden View Post
    tony I always say to my lads after my funeral if anyone says your dad had some ******** they can say yes 9 of them? I have tried 3 different consultants to get the operation but with my history they will not do it? jp

    John, there is an answer for that but not suitable for this site.
    All you can say is balls to al of that.
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

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  12. #20
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    Default Re: Embarrassing medical exams

    I always found the most interesting shift to work was what we called the "graveyard" 12midnight to 8am. Had a drunk come in for an x-ray which we managed without too much trouble. I told him to wait and I would be back soon. We had just upgraded our maze system ( prior to digital) for a revolving door in order to enter the darkroom (red light only). After processing his films I exited via a side door, went back to find the patient had disappeared.
    I did seem to have a problem "losing" patients. Went to A&E nope not there, gave me a couple of attendants to search the department. Didn't take one attendant long, he heard the revolving door spinning like the clappers with shouting coming from inside. We had to wait till the guy ran out of steam before we could force the door open and extract him. Eyes spinning and mouth hanging open. We took him back to A&E. His x-rays were ok but they kept him in for observation as he kept going on about skeletons!! Then I remembered one of the clowns in our department had taken some fluorescent paint and drawn a series of skeletons on the inside of the revolving door, so that as the door spun they seemed to jump up and down.
    No prises for guessing what our guy had seen.

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