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Thread: Nothing in it, just tickled me.

  1. #271
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    Default Re: Nothing in it, just tickled me.

    Someone spotted this spotted this coming into Salisbury on his dash cam.

    kgb43183268_2137658506562253_3509966343669547008_n.jpg
    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

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  3. #272
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    Default Re: Nothing in it, just tickled me.

    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

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  5. #273
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    Default Re: Nothing in it, just tickled me.

    Even the Saudi consulate Cats got it off to a tee

    SAUDI44809538_10157595210147699_8813742799468888064_n.jpg
    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

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  7. #274
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    Default Re: Nothing in it, just tickled me.

    Harsh but fair.

    Ds8D4usUUAABgvI.jpg
    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

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  9. #275
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    Default Re: Nothing in it, just tickled me.

    NZ PM Jacinta Adern just gave a lengthy press conference in which she explained she will need to take a month and a half off around the time of the birth and how her partner, the babyís father, will be a stay at home dad when she returns to work.

    Unfortunately her Kiwi accent didnít help clarify exactly what her priorities are when she stated:
    ĎAfter sex weeks off I will be back on dickí..
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

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  11. #276
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    Default Re: Nothing in it, just tickled me.

    EGGSIT MEANS EGGSIT.

    LEAVER: I want an omelette.
    REMAINER: Right. Itís just we havenít got any eggs.
    LEAVER: Yes, we have. There they are. [HE POINTS AT A CAKE]
    REMAINER: Theyíre in the cake.
    LEAVER: Yes, get them out of the cake, please.
    REMAINER: But we voted in 1974 to put them into a cake.
    LEAVER: Yes, but that cake has got icing on it. Nobody said there was going to be icing on it.
    REMAINER: Icing is good.
    LEAVER: And there are raisins in it. I donít like raisins. Nobody mentioned raisins. I demand another vote.
    DAVID CAMERON ENTERS.
    DAVID CAMERON: OK.
    DAVID CAMERON SCARPERS.
    LEAVER: Right, whereís my omelette?
    REMAINER: I told you, the eggs are in the cake.
    LEAVER: Well, get them out.
    EU: Itís our cake.
    JEREMY CORBYN: Yes, get them out now.
    REMAINER: I have absolutely no idea how to get them out. Donít you know how to get them out?
    LEAVER: Yes! You just get them out and then you make an omelette.
    REMAINER: But how?! Didnít you give this any thought?
    LEAVER: Saboteur! Youíre talking eggs down. We could make omelettes before the eggs went into the cake, so thereís no reason why we canít make them now.
    THERESA MAY: Itís OK, I can do it.
    REMAINER: How?
    THERESA MAY: There was a vote to remove the eggs from the cake, and so the eggs will be removed from the cake.
    REMAINER: Yeah, butÖ
    LEAVER: Hang on, if we take the eggs out of the cake, does that mean we donít have any cake? I didnít say I didnít want the cake, just the bits I donít like.
    EU: Itís our cake.
    REMAINER: But you canít take the eggs out of the cake and then still have a cake.
    LEAVER: You can. I saw the latest Bake Off and you can definitely make cakes without eggs in them. Itís just that theyíre horrible.
    REMAINER: Fine. Take the eggs out. See what happens.
    LEAVER: Itís not my responsibility to take the eggs out. Get on with it.
    REMAINER: Why should I have to come up with some long-winded incredibly difficult chemical process to extract eggs that have bonded at the molecular level to the cake, while somehow still having the cake?
    LEAVER: You lost, get over it.
    THERESA MAY: By the way, Iíve started the clock on this.
    REMAINER: So I assume you have a plan?
    THERESA MAY: Actually, back in a bit. Just having another election.
    REMAINER: Jeremy, are you going to sort this out?
    JEREMY CORBYN: Yes. No. Maybe.
    EU: Itís our cake.
    LEAVER: Whereís my omelette? I voted for an omelette.
    REMAINER: This is ridiculous. This is never going to work. We should have another vote, or at least stop what weíre doing until we know how to get the eggs out of the cake while keeping the bits of the cake that we all like.
    LEAVER/MAY/CORBYN: WE HAD A VOTE. STOP SABOTAGING THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE. EGGSIT MEANS EGGSIT.
    REMAINER: Fine, Iím moving to France. The cakes are nicer there.
    LEAVER: You canít. Weíve taken your freedom of movement.
    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

  12. #277
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    Default Re: Nothing in it, just tickled me.

    It was the third week of the flood and it was obvious to all the animals that Noah made a big mistake by not fitting toilets.
    The crap was knee high and the only ones able to get around with out too much trouble were Mr and Mrs G. Raffe.
    The Lion now fed up with all of this went to Noah and told him he wanted to do something about it.
    Noah, being a bit scared of the Lion agree to allow him to do what he wanted.
    So the Lion got a spade and cleared a spot on the after deck declaring it a crap free zone.
    Later that day one of the Rabbits was having a crap there when the Grizzly bear came along and told the Rabbit he was craping in a carp free zone.


    "I know but the crap sticks to my fur and there is so much all over the Ark it does not matter where I go it is there'

    Sticks to your fur said the Grizzly picking up the Rabbit to wipe his A***e.
    Noah now fed up with the situation decided he had to do something so he rolled all the crap up into a big ball and threw it over the side.

    in 1492 Columbos discovered it.
    Happy daze John in Oz.

    Life is too short to blend in.

    John Strange R737787
    World Traveller

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  14. #278
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    Default Re: Nothing in it, just tickled me.

    Low budget Nativity scene

    Low budget Nativity scene.jpg
    "Our veterans did not forget about us .... Let's not forget about them." From Michael Levesque

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  16. #279
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    Default Re: Nothing in it, just tickled me.

    Donald Trump wants the White house painted. He gets 3 quotes.
    A Chinese guy quoted $3million
    A German Guy quoted $7million
    An Irish guy quoted $10million


    He asked the Chinese guy ,how did you quote
    $1million for paint, $1million for Labour and $ 1 million profit.


    He asked the German how did you quote.

    He said, $3 million for paint , $2million for labour and $ 2million profit.


    He asked the Irish guy how did you quote?


    The Irish guy said.

    $ 4million for me.

    $ 3 million for you.







    and $ 3million for the Chinese guy to paint it.



    The Irish guy got the job.


    Merry Christmas everyone.

  17. #280
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    Default Re: Nothing in it, just tickled me.

    now that is a brighter note lol cappy

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