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Captain Kong
12th April 2014, 10:48 AM
DISASTROUS INTERVIEWS.

We were talking about being smartly dressed for interviews on another thread, I just wondered if anyone had had a disastrous or memorable interview..
. One I had had was a total disaster.
.

.In June 1968, I applied for and got an Interview with Hygena Kitchen Units as a Sales Rep.
Good Salary, commission and a new Vauxhall Victor Estate car and expense account..
The job was mine I had sold Hygena Kitchen Units when I was on the Gas Board, I designed Kitchens around split level cookers with Hygena Units, So I knew the product and all its applications. So I was very very confident I would get the job, no problem.
Unfortunately I was on holiday with the family in Broadhaven in Pembrokeshire when the interview date came up.
No problem. The day before the interview I left the family in the hotel and drove near 200 miles home. I was two miles from Home when A police car pulled me in and charged me with speeding and gave me a ticket. It later cost me 30 and endorsement.
Next morning, up early. The interview was at the Midland Hotel in the center of Manchester.
I shaved , showered and shampooed, I was immaculate in a new business suit, white shirt and tie. I left home in plenty if time, I wanted to be at the Hotel early so I could relax and be ready for action.
It was a hot sunny day and I was driving down the East Lancashire Road towards Manchester and approaching some traffic lights at Worsley, the engine stopped, would not start I opened the bonnet and looked at the engine. It was a new Ford Escort, Company Car,
I took all the plugs out and checked them , I was getting worried, I did not want to be late, I was sweating I wiped the sweat off my face with my hands as I went through the engine that still would not start. Now it was getting close to Interview to time.
My hands were black with the oil and dirt of the engine, the cuffs on my immaculate white shirt were black and dirty, I was wiping the sweat out of my eyes. Beginning to panic,
I ran down to the traffic lights and tried to thumb a lift to Manchester. No one stopped. I now only had minutes to go. I opened the door of a car that stopped at the lights and jumped in. I said to the Startled man, ”Are you going to Manchester?”
He said `No`. I said “you are now” and gave him a Ten Pound note, a lot of money then. He said OK and then he drove me into the middle of Manchester.
With the traffic and road system he could only get about 200 yards from the Hotel.
I jumped out and ran the 200 yards and into the Hotel, The Interview rooms were up to the 2nd floor, I ran up the stairs and the last few steps was crawling up, gasping for breath completely knackered. As I got to the top step a door opened and a voice shouted. Mr Aspinall.
I staggered past the man and collapsed on a chair at his desk and so out of breath I could not speak.
He sat there staring at me with a look of disgust on his face. He just said, “Am I wasting your time, or are you wasting mine. Go away.”.
I staggered out of the room nearly in tears. All that for nothing. The Job was mine, I wanted to shout.
There was a wash room in the corridor, I went in, and was horrified to see the state of me, My face was dirty with oil and sweat, my hands were filthy, my white shirt was black and dirty. I was a total mess. So with a heavy heart I washed and cleaned up best I could.
Now a big problem, the wife and kids were in West Wales, My car was broken down several miles up the East Lancs Road, and what am I going to do now.
I took three buses to get up to where my car was. It was still standing where I had left it. The berstered.
I climbed in and threw my jacket on the passenger seat, sat there feeling very dejected and lit a ciggy trying to sort out my future.
I turned the ignition key, it started strait away. The swine.
So now I have to go to West Wales to resume my holiday with the family.
I turned right at the traffic lights, a road which led down to the motor way.
A few hundred yards down there was a garage opposite the White Horse Pub, I will stop here and fill up so I can go non stop, all the way.
As I pulled up at the petrol Pump, I saw smoke coming up from the edge of the bonnet, I just sat there staring at it, Then, BANG! The engine compartment exploded, the bonnet flew up in the air and landed on the fore court, it was like a car bomb.
I just sat there stunned. The man ran out of the office screaming, ”Get that car away from my pumps”
I climbed out and the two of us pushed it onto the road. And I just stood there watching the flames burn through my car. The front tyres set on fire and then two big bangs as they too exploded. A crowd of people were watching from a distance, then my jacket?. It was still inside the car and burning.
A Lancashire United Transport bus pulled up and the driver jumped out with a foam fire extinguisher, squirted it it on the car with no effect. [ two weeks later I got a bill from them for 5 for recharging their fire extinguisher.]
Then a Policeman arrived, “ Better get that shifted” he said “its blocking the road”.
What a plod, did he think I was going into the inferno and drive the car away?
Then a Fire engine turned up and they blasted it with foam and then water to cool the wreckage.
Everyone started to drift away and I was left alone with just a black crumpled lump of metal. Nothing left to do now, I went across the road to the White Horse pub.
The Landlord said “Is that your car” I sad` yes,` he said `here have a pint on the house.` and gave me a pint of bitter.
I sat in a corner and near wept.
What the hell am I going to do now. I was several miles from home and the family in West Wales.
I would have to tell my Company that their Company car was an ex car.
I used the phone in the pub and phoned up the Sales Manager in Blackpool.
He went berserk, when I told him. And where are you?
I told him and he said he would be down in a couple of hours with a mechanic and another car, then we will tow your car back to be repaired. I said you cant, just bring a dust pan and brush there is nothing left to tow.
I sat in the pub for another couple of hours and he appeared and gave me another car fortunately. They looked at the wreckage, and had to phone a local scrap yard to take it away.
I think what had happened was the fuel pipe had come adrift and sprayed the hot engine with petrol and the build up of fumes first had contributed to the explosion.
This happened twice later on two Fords I had, the faulty fuel pipe.
So I was now able to carry on to West Wales and resume my holiday,
Did you get the Job? SHE says, when I arrived at the hotel.
You would not believe what happened, I said..
Look at the state of your filthy shirt and where is your suit jacket, she says.
SHE never noticed I had a different coloured car.
And so ended one traumatic day.
Cheers
Brian

j.sabourn
12th April 2014, 11:18 AM
Gah Brian, its safer being at sea than around you ashore. You remind me of a Lecky I sailed with, although think have told before, were in some port in South America and I was followed right back to the ship and up the gangway by this female, on passing the leckys room I opened his door and said I'Ve brought you a present back pushed her inside closed the door and went to bed. The lecky had supposedly sworn off women but 3 days later he appeared with a bad cold. I gave him the jabs. Ship went to Italy and again he wouldnt go ashore, just glowered at me. However talked him in to coming ashore to the US Seamens club there. I knew the Barmaid and she invited the two of us home to her parents house, however the lecky still didnt trust me so he stayed there and out of trouble he said. Next day on ship he was missing and the police came down and said he was in hospital. I went up to see him, he"s lying there in traction, he was also a big ex paratrooper and could kill you with one hand was his boast. I asked him what happened and he said he was a bit under the weather and had tried a cars door handle to see if he could borrow to get back to the ship. The owner of the car caught him and beat the living dayklights out of him with a 6 foot pole. His excuse I couldnt get near him for this pole. The cop sitting by his bedside told me it was a mafiosa"s car.. He was lying there 0ne leg and one arm in traction his head all bandaged, looked at me and said I was the cause of all his troubles and he still had a bad cold. When he finally did get home he must have been in some state, we all paid off that day as ship was the Rosewood and was sold to the Greeks. If he had stayed with me that night he wouldnt of got into that state, and he told me in South America he had sworn off females, must have been all lies. Cheers John S

Richard Quartermaine
12th April 2014, 11:46 AM
That's quite an experience, Brian graphically recounted. Had the interviewer been J Arthur Rank and he being who he was, he would have asked what the hell happened. You'd have been hired on the spot.
Richard

cappy
12th April 2014, 03:41 PM
Gah Brian, its safer being at sea than around you ashore. You remind me of a Lecky I sailed with, although think have told before, were in some port in South America and I was followed right back to the ship and up the gangway by this female, on passing the leckys room I opened his door and said I'Ve brought you a present back pushed her inside closed the door and went to bed. The lecky had supposedly sworn off women but 3 days later he appeared with a bad cold. I gave him the jabs. Ship went to Italy and again he wouldnt go ashore, just glowered at me. However talked him in to coming ashore to the US Seamens club there. I knew the Barmaid and she invited the two of us home to her parents house, however the lecky still didnt trust me so he stayed there and out of trouble he said. Next day on ship he was missing and the police came down and said he was in hospital. I went up to see him, he"s lying there in traction, he was also a big ex paratrooper and could kill you with one hand was his boast. I asked him what happened and he said he was a bit under the weather and had tried a cars door handle to see if he could borrow to get back to the ship. The owner of the car caught him and beat the living dayklights out of him with a 6 foot pole. His excuse I couldnt get near him for this pole. The cop sitting by his bedside told me it was a mafiosa"s car.. He was lying there 0ne leg and one arm in traction his head all bandaged, looked at me and said I was the cause of all his troubles and he still had a bad cold. When he finally did get home he must have been in some state, we all paid off that day as ship was the Rosewood and was sold to the Greeks. If he had stayed with me that night he wouldnt of got into that state, and he told me in South America he had sworn off females, must have been all lies. Cheers John S######

thats what happens when you mess with the gigglymafia

Jim Brady
12th April 2014, 04:29 PM
The way your going on cappy you will have the giggly mafia police on your case,you have been warned no more giggling!!!!!
Regards.
Jim.B.

robpage
12th April 2014, 04:32 PM
He hasn't been the same since one legged squinty eyed Mary went , She obviously kept him amused

cappy
12th April 2014, 06:28 PM
The way your going on cappy you will have the giggly mafia police on your case,you have been warned no more giggling!!!!!
Regards.
Jim.B.######

not giggling......chuckiling

- - - Updated - - -


He hasn't been the same since one legged squinty eyed Mary went , She obviously kept him amused#######ah those were the carefree days

Charlie Hannah
13th April 2014, 12:54 AM
Brian you wouldn't by any chance be the Father of Jonah,would you?

j.sabourn
13th April 2014, 04:36 AM
Charlie, Brians broken that many mirrors he"s lost count. JS

Louis the Amigo
13th April 2014, 06:50 AM
hi shipmates, I sent off my C.V. for a job that I thought I would have no hope of getting? As A joke !!! Top paying, blue chip company company Car a B.M.W. all the perks... Meals and booze all payed daily+ travel abroad I forgot about it, and a few weeks later had a phone call from the personal boss an Irishman , I thought he was a mate taking the P---- so I played along , joking and taking the mickey but it dawn on me this was real????and Agree to go for a interview in the top hotel in Cardiff the next day in shock !!! put on my best suit and new shirt and tie there at 10.30am The rain was very heavy that day and I was very wet {No Coat} well as I walk into the suite for my interview a unkown man, said to me your a bit wet? I replied I work in all weather, then sat down with loads of others in a waiting room After a hour it was my turn two blokes on a big table looking at my C.V and asking me Questions {The C,V was allmost bogus} or well padded. Well I did my best, and was there for about half an hour , Left then caught the bus home {no Car} After a few days had a phone call I had the job... What happen next... is another story...

j.sabourn
13th April 2014, 07:49 AM
Go on on Louis tell us. Wasnt the job I always wanted was it? Pimp for a high Class Brothel, JS

cappy
13th April 2014, 08:05 AM
Go on on Louis tell us. Wasnt the job I always wanted was it? Pimp for a high Class Brothel, JS''''''''########think big john be the owner ......sell you a half share if you like ......you wont have grease marys hinges now shes gone ....that used to be robs job him been an engineer regards cappy

Keith Tindell
13th April 2014, 09:02 AM
Tell us more Louis, the suspense is killing me !!, is that why you are a wealthy man now,? , wasnt a job in parliament was it? KT

Louis the Amigo
13th April 2014, 09:15 AM
Hi shipmates, Not a pimps job? but that was a perk for the right client, as I said a blue chip company whos still going strong , So cant give the name !st day had to go to bristol to pick up car, 2.5 ltr B.M.W. black with all the toys. and another meeting in hotel, with the team... lunch and briefing had a week of this, driving back to Bristol every day in my free new B.M.W. the comments from my nieghbours was great after that. I Had training for 2 weeks with Ruth, on the job ,a very nice young lady only 26yrs old a real high flyer, who owned a few propertys then not married, she lived with a gay couple ,in her town house they were chiefs by trade they made fantastic food, and cleaned her house it was spotless, nice guys too so very much in love... Spent a few afternoons and evenings there with Ruth learning the job...

John Arton
13th April 2014, 09:25 AM
Spent a few afternoons and evenings there with Ruth learning the job
Louis, sorry but just could not resist it, was that Ruth Madoc of High-de-High Fame with her "Good Morning Campers" catch phrase.

rgds
JA

j.sabourn
13th April 2014, 09:37 AM
So thats the job Louis is so secretive about a redcoat at Butlins holiday camp, which one probably the one at Filey. Went there once and they were short of redcoats. Louis was probably getting his tailor made. JS

Louis the Amigo
13th April 2014, 09:51 AM
hi shipmates Ruth Madoc????, No she was married in real life, and she is a man eater... Not that Ruth... Every word is what happen its not made up. I am not a script writer just a old ex merchant seaman, who had a few good times and some lucky jobs no one ashore belived my sea tales...

Captain Kong
13th April 2014, 10:59 AM
So you are with Ruth, Louis, What happened Next?????
Brian

j.sabourn
14th April 2014, 09:25 AM
#19... Louis is too honourable a man to disclose that, or his partner is looking over his shoulder. Deathly Silence Brian. Cheers John S

cappy
14th April 2014, 09:30 AM
So you are with Ruth, Louis, What happened Next?????
Brian######louis found out she was a tranny

j.sabourn
14th April 2014, 09:46 AM
#21. Thanks cappy. Case Solved. John S Wasnt you was it. JS

cappy
14th April 2014, 09:56 AM
#21. Thanks cappy. Case Solved. John S Wasnt you was it. JS########no john if you remember i had given you your gear back that week.......sorry about the broken heel.......love cappy

Louis the Amigo
14th April 2014, 09:57 AM
Hi shipmates, hi Cappy she was not a tranny, {NO WAY} her private sex life was very intense, she liked novelty thats all I telling on this forum, but Ruth was a real woman100% Hi Keith Tindell I made a few bob, but had a bad Casino habit...

cappy
14th April 2014, 10:04 AM
Hi shipmates, hi Cappy she was not a tranny, {NO WAY} her private sex life was very intense, she liked novelty thats all I telling on this forum, but Ruth was a real woman100% Hi Keith Tindell I made a few bob, but had a bad Casino habit... ########oh louis dont leave us hanging in the air .......she liked novelty .......got my mind racing now .......give us a clue ......give us the first and last letter and let us try to work it out .....or in

Louis the Amigo
14th April 2014, 01:22 PM
Hi shipmates, Hi Cappy if I told you what happen you would need extra strong blood pressure tablets like me !!!! Cappy your a man of the world, so I keep it simple, she would have been very happy on any ship, with a young male crew ,and no one would have payed off in a hurry....

cappy
14th April 2014, 02:37 PM
Hi shipmates, Hi Cappy if I told you what happen you would need extra strong blood pressure tablets like me !!!! Cappy your a man of the world, so I keep it simple, she would have been very happy on any ship, with a young male crew ,and no one would have payed off in a hurry....####just took 4 extra blood pressure tablets and a cold shower regards louis cappy