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happy daze john in oz
13th July 2013, 06:32 AM
I am sure you will enjoy this even if you are not >60yrs!>
When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual" Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, "No, but I do fart a lot."

Frederick Lacey
13th July 2013, 09:14 AM
I think john that most of us over a certain age will recognise this. My son looked at me in a strange way

when I asked him how to scan a photo for the hundredth plus time, I keep forgetting. :confused::confused:

Fred.

Louis the Amigo
13th July 2013, 09:36 AM
Hi shipmates, Hi Happy john in oz, My son oldest one, is a I.T. guru he tells' me off for for using my desk top computor {outdated} and laptop, why dont you do everything by phone now? I cant see the screen old eyes, and my hands are too big to press the right buttons, G.P.S. is on the mobile /phone media thingy a app free of charge you know where you are no matter how drunk you get? He also put a credit wireless money app on it? to pay the shopping. I belong to the time of the 2 station t.v {Black and white} B.T. telephones 6 months waiting time for non party line, if lucky? Cars travel if you got lost you would asked a policeman, if you had a car? trolley bus for local travel 2d a ticket I must be way passed my time where do I go to get an upgrade?

John Pruden
13th July 2013, 01:33 PM
all this and to think we first started writing on a slate in infant school??jp

gray_marian
13th July 2013, 04:06 PM
Fred,

When I ask my youngest daughter sws, [she who sighs] to do the same on my ancestry site, I give her a weeks notice and her favourite dinner...
failing that I remind her of all the "taxi" rides!

Chris Allman
13th July 2013, 06:05 PM
I was lost when they took the dial off the phone !!!!

Colin Pook
14th July 2013, 02:36 PM
thank goodness there are others like me. I was beginning to think I was the only one!

I bought a video recorder 2 years ago, and I still have to ask my son how do I programme it.

I have a mobile phone, and haven't a clue how to text some-one

I had a new battery fitted in my car yesterday, and to reset the radio, clock, air-con, and everything else will give me night-mares

Son bought me and her a new digital micro-wave---we still use the gas cooker

google made a few alterations to the way I send and recieve e.mails---I contemplated changing to yahoo

I have to read the instructions on how to put a new ink cartridge in my printer, (only had it 4 years)!!

plus-net, in my sons' absence, asked me to do some tests for them on our router that isn't working proper--I hung up!

bought a new telly from curry's--asked the eng. to come down daily to show me how to tune the xxxxxxx thing

AND YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD PROBLEMS

NOW WHY IS THIS KEYBOARD wRItiNg In caPItAls??

Sod it, I'm going out the garden, good day to you all

Colin.

Colin Hawken
14th July 2013, 06:39 PM
My 21 Year old Great Nephew (like so many of his age), is an absolute wizard with a computer.He was staying with me for a weekend,as he does occasionally. I had a problem with my PC,he said"Let me have a look." his fingers just flew over the keyboard,almost a blur. "It's OK now,if it happens again,that's all you've got to do" he said. "Yeah Right" I said.He gave me a pitying look,shook his head and walked away. He has a great sense of humour,I wouldn't be without him for all the money in the World. He's studying Computer Forensics at Bournemouth University. Only one in our Family to make it to Uni. Don't know where his brains came from. Not me,that's for sure.:D

happy daze john in oz
15th July 2013, 06:14 AM
all this and to think we first started writing on a slate in infant school??jp

I well remember we had to provide our own. The roof leaked for weeks after that.

Lou Barron
15th July 2013, 09:20 AM
Thats a very good subject Colin i do have the same problem with my daughters telling me i should do this and do that i just look at them and say i might be old and not up to all these modern gimmicks but i am not stupid one thing i do not like to be treated like a old fossil

happy daze john in oz
15th July 2013, 12:20 PM
5.37! That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me."Only$4.68"he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind!

"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus: The child seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was,"What is the world coming to?"

All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle,and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake"

I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words:"It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone. Yessss, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

The good news was that I had successfully found my way home.

Pass this on to the other "old fogies" on your list (so they can have fun laughing, too).

Notice the largertype? That's for those of us who have trouble reading.<O:p></O:p>
P. S. Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate!!!!!<O:p></O:p>
Oops, did I send this to you already?<O:p></O:p>
<O:p> </O:p>
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alf corbyn
15th July 2013, 03:26 PM
tried to use my mobile (which I hate) in sunlight, no go went in the shade still couldn't see the screen, had to ask a mate. went to virgin to buy a new one. the bloke looked at it five seconds screen now like a searchlight. stupid things. why can't they put sockets all over the place and I can then use my landline

Louis the Amigo
15th July 2013, 06:44 PM
Hi shipmates, We are not fossils , How would they cope with what we had? we had skill, and team work and steam power. Could they live without modern tecknology? what would they do if it all crashed !!!! Many jobs depend 100% on it factories, shops, and many others could not function without it.

Don Rafferty
15th July 2013, 06:54 PM
Fred,

When I ask my youngest daughter sws, [she who sighs]

.............like that:D how descriptive.

Does that mean that you are SWMBO - She Who Must Be Obeyed?............probably not.

Lou Barron
16th July 2013, 08:15 AM
The younger generation should be thankful for the style of living they have now and i say good on them but if it was not for us guys that they can enjoy the good in in life they have now

gray_marian
16th July 2013, 10:15 AM
Don,
I find G & T works best!! [Give and take]....Marian ;)

happy daze john in oz
16th July 2013, 12:35 PM
Don,
I find G & T works best!! [Give and take]....Marian ;)


It all depends on what is being given and who is recieving!

Ivan Cloherty
16th July 2013, 05:09 PM
Don,
I find G & T works best!! [Give and take]....Marian ;)

Apparently it was also a favourite pastime on the Lavender Ladies!

gray_marian
16th July 2013, 11:10 PM
John in oz, You are making me blush!! and it's not my sangria.

Ivan, I have no idea who the Lavender Ladies were, though can hazard a guess,
as to what they were about, pray do tell....

Doc Vernon
16th July 2013, 11:32 PM
The Lavender Ladies were the Gay's on the Union Castle Liners,some of which were very pleasant ,and never offended any of the other Crew Members!
They were at most times very good workers,put on many good shows for the Crew and had many private parties in their quaters on board!
At times could really dress up in their various regalia,and some were hard to distinguish between Male and Females!
As said most loved their G&T ,a favourite drink at that time for the Ladies !
I myself thankfully never once had any troubles with anyone of them!
They mostly just kept to themselves,although of course as life has it there was always one or two that tried it on.
They were to me a pleasure to work with!
Cheers
Doc

robpage
17th July 2013, 01:21 AM
Very true doc , they were very diligent workers , unless they were having a lovers tiff

happy daze john in oz
17th July 2013, 06:08 AM
Very true doc , they were very diligent workers , unless they were having a lovers tiff


A lovers tiff, mate it was like WW3 when some of them got stuck into it, the tiff that is nothing else of course.
But no doubt P&O, Cunard ans Blue Star had their share of them. They could, as Vernon said, be great workers and good fun.
Of course at that time it was taken very differently to today, the public opinion that is, and I wonder how they would have behaved iun todays society?

Ivan Cloherty
17th July 2013, 06:50 AM
The Lavender Ladies were the Gay's on the Union Castle Liners,some of which were very pleasant ,and never offended any of the other Crew Members!
They were at most times very good workers,put on many good shows for the Crew and had many private parties in their quaters on board!
At times could really dress up in their various regalia,and some were hard to distinguish between Male and Females!
As said most loved their G&T ,a favourite drink at that time for the Ladies !
I myself thankfully never once had any troubles with anyone of them!
They mostly just kept to themselves,although of course as life has it there was always one or two that tried it on.
They were to me a pleasure to work with!
Cheers
Doc

Now THAT is what I call a diplomatic answer and fit for a lady, well done Doc!

Doc forgot to mention that the Gays were called Lavender Ladies, because the hulls of the Union Castle (U/C) liners at that time were painted what was officially called 'London Grey' on the tins but turned out to be a lavender/lilac colour when it dried, gave them a distinctive look and U/C never changed it. I reckon that the colour of the hull steered many straight stewards off course, as somehow it became a badge of honour!

Doc Vernon
17th July 2013, 07:58 AM
Hi Ivan
Yes indeed mate i knew that,as i should have haha!
Thanks for the reply.
Cheers

gray_marian
17th July 2013, 01:13 PM
Thank you Doc and Ivan for the information, delicately described!......I'm always willing to learn.:)

Lou Barron
17th July 2013, 01:44 PM
I dont think you could call the very old Gloucester Castle a Lavender Lady it was painted a battle ship grey .Sometimes i was frightened to turn over in my bunk in case i put my elbow through the ships side .Can still remember watching her going down stern first on a even keel

robpage
17th July 2013, 02:04 PM
I think when considering the Lavender ladies , you have to think about conditions ashore at the time , Homosexual acts were illegal ( as were they at sea ) and people were pursued and discriminated against because of their gender based preferences , I think a lot of homosexual men went to sea on the large liners , where a more liberal policy seemed to prevail , Out of a crew of several hundred I believe that 40% on some of the Union Castle ships were Homosexual or bisexual . Ashore they faced arrest and jail , and disgrace , at sea for whatever reason they got away with their activities . As I said earlier , they were often very intelligent men with a very strong work ethic . . To say the least , they made liners interesting , but the cat fights were worse than I have seen between any women .

happy daze john in oz
18th July 2013, 06:19 AM
Yes Rob, but some of them were a very sad lot, they escaped to sea to get away from pursecution but, many were stuck with who they were unable to escape. I have seen some ashore crying in their beer in fear of retribution by the general community.
In society today they can come out without fear, but in those days many were fearfull of doing so. I am sure there were far more who never came out for various reasons fearful of what may happen to them. I knew of three who went over the side, the reasons we will never know.

robpage
18th July 2013, 07:34 AM
I was awakened to the persecution after taking my Grandson to Bletchley Park , the home of those brilliant code breakers , there is a Tribute to their leader Dr Alan Turing , he committed suicide at the age of 41 after being arrested and outed as a homosexual , what a brilliant brain , what a loss , all because Homosexuallity was an evil sin , and he could not take the shame of exposure . I have very strong Christian , Biblical views , but believe that God forgives my sins , so I cannot judge other's sins . I cannot think what Turing would have gone on to develop though . SO behind the effeminate front , the cross dressing , the hand holding , and the irritating voices , as you say John , lay , often a sad , sorry person . Our intolerance probably killed hundreds of these guys in the last century , life taken by their own hand , because the World at large thought they were a figure of ridicule and revulsion

alf corbyn
18th July 2013, 10:30 AM
I understood that a lot of the gays came from upper class families and were actually paid to stay away from home because of the shame. I did about ten trips on various union castle liners and on one; the Pretoria there were 145 gays. lovely people. they were mainly very well educated and great to talk with. they put on great shows for passengers and crew, and in many cases were ladies in voice and manner, especially if upset. they would cry just like any female. with regards the lavender colour, I was always told it was called"Frenchblue".

robpage
18th July 2013, 11:42 AM
It was most assuredly "London Grey " and it came from International Paints as far as I can remember , but " Clan Line " owned a paint factory in Glasgow and a lot of the paint came from the Craig-Hubbock ( I think that was the name ) works . I think if you look on Chris Issacs site , I think there is a reference to the Hull Colour there

happy daze john in oz
19th July 2013, 06:40 AM
Only the French would call Grey Blue!!!!

leratty
19th July 2013, 11:29 AM
Happy daz John, I know exactly how you feel yet I miss for some crazy reason the ph going crazy, e-mails flying about. Now I get maybe 20 E-mails a day work wise I feel quite left out though God knows how many SMS's which I am not so keen on, rarely a ph call as youngsters do not call any more just SMS-MMS. I ask our small No of French staff to call me but it makes no difference they SMS. When away in st or outside I can not use the damn thing as can not read the screen due to the light reflected. Also the keys are heat sensitive so you have to be extra careful about spelling as our staff are not 1st language English perfect obviously. One the other day said "what did I mean by" 'hood?' It was meant to be 'good' ): What can you say? Ah modern technology if we don't keep up we are left in the dust so must Boss Cocky is a whiz with the computers & the software so I have a an in house computer geek to sort out my difficulties thank God.
I could not get around without a GPS, here it is a nightmare street wise so many one ways so use it every time almost I get in the car.