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Red Lead Ted
13th March 2012, 01:07 AM
Just watched the late evening news before tucking myself into my bunk and resting and sleeping off the day,s strains.
1 NO WATER IN THE COUNTRY?
2 THE PRICE OF FOOD AS A RESULT CAN BE EXPECTED TO ROCKET IN THE SUMMER?
3 AFGHAN PRESDENT KARZAI NOT VERY HAPPY WITH THE NATO COALITION { SPELLS BIG TROUBLE}?
4 ISREAL ARE EXCHANGING MISSILES WITH THE PALASTINIANS?
5 IT LOOKS LIKE WE ARE STAYING IN AFGHANISTAN TO FINISH THE JOB ALONE?
6 SYRIAN ARMY ARE SLAUGHTERING CIVILIANS?
7 RUSSIA AND CHINA BLOCKED A MOTION FOR SYRIAN PRESIDENT TO STEP DOWN AND ENVOY ANNAN REMINDED ASSAD OF THE WAY DICTATORS IN LYBIA/ TUNISIA/ EGYPT/YEMEN , WHERE DEALT WITH. yet he decides to ignore the wishes for democracy amongst {the arab spring}?
8 WE CAN EXPECT MORE FUEL DUTY IN THE BUDGET DUE TO RISING PRISES IN A BARELL OF OIL?
9 THE WORKER ON THE SHOP FLOOR {NOT MANAGEMENT} HAVE AGREED TO TAKE ONE DAYS UNPAID LEAVE A MONTH TO SAVE JOBS AT B.E.A.?
10 CAMERON MEETS WITH OBAMA IN WASHINGTON TOMORROW FOR TALKS ON THE MIDDLE EAST? O....M....G ?
11 HAVE A GOODNIGHT ALL ????????? :1zhelp: Terry.

Fouro
13th March 2012, 01:26 AM
Hi rlt,
Having no water in the country doesn't stop the water rates level from rising.:mad:
Regards,
FOURO.

Des Taff Jenkins
13th March 2012, 04:23 AM
Hi Ted.
Help on the way. Well if you ask nicely we could send you some water from over here, the Mudgembidgi [hope I've spelt it right or John will have a bite} river going through Wagga was about 17 meters wide; now it is 17 Kilometers wide. The rain has stopped but the water flows on to towns down river. We have just had a huge jump in our inscurance's so we are cutting them to the bone.
Cheers Des

Neil Morton
13th March 2012, 05:11 AM
There is no such thing as GOOD NEWS anywhere in this crazy world Red Lead, so take heart you are not alone. I listen to 10 minutes on the 0700 news ABC (Australian BBC) which is enough to brown me off for the day and then I studiously ignor all future bulletins.:th_thth5952deef:

happy daze john in oz
13th March 2012, 05:20 AM
The Murrumbidgee river along with the Campaspe and Murray are at full flow. How much water would you like mate, can youy arrange a couple of tankers? You must have plenty over there as the cost of fuel is so high they may well stop importing it, no one can afford it.

john sutton
13th March 2012, 04:44 PM
12 Its been weeks since I had an erection
john sutton

Fouro
13th March 2012, 06:42 PM
Hi John,
Your tap water can't be fit for drinking. To make it palatable, just add (the water of life) "whisky" to it. By dilligent effort, you'll learn to like it and "drooping Willy" (your former upstanding friend) will soon rise from the two kit bags he's been sitting on for the past few weeks.:D

Regards,
FOURO.

Ron B Manderson
13th March 2012, 08:09 PM
now that is really bad. We can do without a wee bit of water, but hell's bells
ron the batcave

Lou Barron
14th March 2012, 12:29 AM
Whats wrong with you guys with the depressing thoughts or are Terry and the rest of you guys joking??? Always remember things are not as bad as they seem we can always bitch about how things are .But it is nice to be alive so we can bitch about these things

Red Lead Ted
14th March 2012, 12:52 AM
Maybe thats why old granmother used to say there has to be something better in the afterlife than this, I am taking Fouro,s Advice not listening anymore. Just a footnote to this i heared an interview on newsnight after watching the Merseyside derby {Football} My beloved L.F.C. Come out 3-0 winner,s which i was delighted with swithched over to the BBC News to here we will be a bankrupt country by 2050 before i could reach the remote i heared they had dug up Inglebert Humpthedink to sing in Eurovision for the U.K.. {ENOUGH !!!!!! ENOUGH!!!!!!} Switched the goggle box off. Large gold watch here i come......... :Seeya: Regards Terry. :rolleyes:

Red Lead Ted
14th March 2012, 01:01 AM
:
12 Its been weeks since I had an erection
john sutton

You can alway,s try them viagra m8 the problem i had was they kept falling off you cant balance the bloody things,:D:D:D

Tony Morcom
14th March 2012, 01:32 AM
Terry, it may be a depressing outlook but at least we can always rely on you to make us chuckle.:multilaughing: :thumbsup:
Cheers mate

john sutton
14th March 2012, 10:52 AM
What Pension Worries?




Worried your pension will run short?











So you're a sick senior citizen and the government says

there is no nursing home available for you -

what do you do?


Senior Health Care Solution



Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets.


You are allowed to shoot 2 MPs and 2 illegal immigrants!


Of course,

this means you will be sent to prison

where you will get 3 meals a day,

a roof over your head, central heating,

air conditioning and all the health care you need!

New teeth? - No problem.

Need glasses? - Great.

New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart?

All covered.


(And your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now).



And who will be paying for all of this?

The same government that just told you

that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home.



Plus, because you are a prisoner,

you don't have to pay income tax any more.




IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?

No wonder the rest of the world’s population can’t get here fast enough!


john sutton

---------- Post added at 11:50 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:45 AM ----------

oooO
( ) Oooo
\ ( ( )
\__) ) /
(__/



Many people will walk in and out of your life but only a true friend will leave footprints on your computer!
Forward this message to 3 other people...... and you will get.......



Bugger all!

That's right bugger all..

You won't get good luck or a nice surprise, 5 grand or a bloody holiday in Jamaica , just bugger all..... it's true...... it works.....!





I sent it and I got........






Bugger all. Yes that's right. Absolutely BUGGER all.


Don't break the chain! It's the only one of these things that actually does what it says!

john sutton

---------- Post added at 11:52 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:50 AM ----------

From my Indian buddy in Canada .............. and you think I need
diversity training...........?




Sensitivity Training?

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by
turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole
thing. I converted to *****, and we're stoning her in the morning!

The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I
did. She's 21, and her name's Kathy.

Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting
"pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24
and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class
give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd
better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."

The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex
with me because she can't afford batteries.

A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says,
"How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the
ironing is piling up!"

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she
would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been
listening."

My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for
the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes
back.

The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute
towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we'd love to, but our garden
hose only reaches the driveway.

john sutton

Phil Crawley
15th March 2012, 07:42 PM
To John Sutton great post, just made me burst out laughing.

Lou Barron
16th March 2012, 12:49 AM
Just as well Liverpool beat Everton otherwise it would have been a bad day for you Terry i love to see Liverpool win all the time i always say there were three good thing came out of Liverpool The Beatles the Soccer team and the MERCHANT NAVY????

Red Lead Ted
17th March 2012, 01:56 AM
Came home the other night after a night at the movies with my misses, We had no idea our 12yr old grandson had come to stay the night and my eldest son had let him in. Off i go to the bathroom shower shave foo foo the works thought i will show her there is life in the old dog???????? Goes up to bed no headache have you dear no she said so lets say i was putting the sock over the jumbo, In walks my 12yr old grandson :eek::eek: What you doing grandad ? OHHHHHHHHHHHH I am just looking for a little mouse why he said are you going to hump it,,,,,,,,:hidesbehindsofa: Regards lads Terry.

Colin Pook
1st April 2012, 03:25 PM
Hello Mr. Sutton, o.k. whats your secret, is it the water in your area or what, as I haven't had an erics-son in the last six fortnights!!!
Reply soonest
in despair,
Colin.

Captain Kong
1st April 2012, 03:42 PM
When I was at the Vindicatrix Sea School, 60 years ago, they put Bromide into our Cocoa,
It is just starting to work.

Tony Wilding
1st April 2012, 05:05 PM
now cameron wants access to all the emails we send. :th_thth5952deef:

Red Lead Ted
1st April 2012, 06:38 PM
This is a very serious mistake by this crowed of idiots that govern us. Big brother at work snooping into ordinary peoples personal lives. It will not go down well with joe public including Tory @ Lib Dem voters. They are making the excuse it is to seek out terrorists useing the net to communicate with each other. I for one would rather see them put more money and effort into them tightening our border control which is a joke at the moment. What on earth are they going to gain from finding out which will cost a fortune which web sites i visit. And i think New Labour had this on there agenda. I think there is a case for the court of human rights here. Cival Liberty Groups wont let this drop. And i dont think Certain search engines will be happy because if they have to back door you by law a lot of them will go out of buisness not only because of lack of popularity but also the cost that obviously will be handed onto the user us .Another form of taxation. When you read this one MR Bloody Cameron this is BRITAIN not China. Get out of my box. Regards all Terry.:smashPC:

Captain Kong
1st April 2012, 06:45 PM
now cameron wants access to all the emails we send.
.

Well he obviously hasnt had any access to any of the emails I have sent him because he has never answered, I am sure a nice polite boy like him would have answered if he had recieved them.

Keith at Tregenna
1st April 2012, 06:56 PM
Now i wish i had listened to what my mum told me when i was young !

K.

happy daze john in oz
2nd April 2012, 06:20 AM
When I was at the Vindicatrix Sea School, 60 years ago, they put Bromide into our Cocoa,
It is just starting to work.

Thankfully I never drank the stuff.

Captain Kong
2nd April 2012, 07:38 AM
Who is showing off now John? you lucky lad.
Cheers
Brian.

wilf stirling
3rd April 2012, 06:57 PM
ted dont let these worldy things get you down i have just been told i have postrate cancerso cheer up ted

Jim Brady
3rd April 2012, 07:31 PM
Don't you get the reason why they are telling us that they are going to listen to all phone calls read e.mails and have access to all computer messages.This is to make us start using the postal service where they have just put the price of a first class stamp up to 60p and 2nd class to 50p.On that matter if everyone was to use 2nd class only we would then only have one class,that would sort it out.
Regards.
Jim.B.

Louis the Amigo
3rd April 2012, 07:39 PM
Hi shipmates dont worry as an old donkeyman once said every day you wake up and cant feel wood all around, you have a chance .

Red Lead Ted
3rd April 2012, 11:32 PM
ted dont let these worldy things get you down i have just been told i have postrate cancerso cheer up ted


I am very sorry for your diagnoses and wish you a full and speedy recovery Wilf. That would cheer me up no end Regards m8 Terry.;)

happy daze john in oz
4th April 2012, 06:15 AM
ted dont let these worldy things get you down i have just been told i have postrate cancerso cheer up ted

Wilf mate, it is not the serious problem it was years ago. With modern medical systems most now die with it and not from it. You will be OK.

Captain Kong
4th April 2012, 07:35 AM
All the best with That Wilf, there have been many successes with treatment today,
All the best.
Cheers
Brian.